Summer blog schedule

Well, I have a lot more time in the summer, so I've decided to make, and stick to, a schedule for this blog. I'm going to blog every Thursday, whether I have something to say or not, and I'm going to post on Mondays as often as I can. Those are the best days for my schedule at two jobs and with my family.

Speaking of two jobs, both are going quite well right now. I'm really enjoying Kaiser, and learning how to work in a pharmacy. It's pretty early to be thinking that far in the future, but I could definitely see myself at Kaiser for a long, long time. I think they do health care the right way, and I would feel much better about working there than, say, at Walgreen's.

Don't really have much else to say at the moment, just updating y'all on the schedule. Check back on Mondays and definitely on Thursdays. Thanks for stopping by.

A different kind of post

My old creative writing professor is dying. She was diagnosed with Stage IV pancreatic cancer, which is usually terminal. This was a few months ago. I assume, because I haven't heard anything, that she has neither improved nor passed away. Over my four years as an undergrad (actually, in three years as an English major), I had her for nine courses and TA'd for her twice. Ultimately, it was probably under her direction that writing turned from a hobby into work, and she probably saved me years of toiling away on a novel I never would have finished. I'm grateful for that, as miserable as ended up being, because it pushed me into pharmacy, and I know I'll be happy there. I might write a novel some day, but I can't do it for a living.

The Kaiser that I work at is literally a block from the college that I went to. Last week on one of my breaks I walked over to the campus. A lot has changed - new buildings, improved buildings, landscaping. Two disgusting ponds were turned into one really nice one. Many professors that I had are gone. The last place I went was to this professor's office. It hasn't changed a bit. It looks like she just stepped out to give a lecture or meet with an aspiring writer. Seeing that saddened me, and I wanted to share the emotion.

Thanks for stopping by.

Summer update

Oh, hi there. I took a month off from this blog after finals. I took a month off from a lot of things. I've just been working and spending time with my family. We went to Vegas right after the end of the semester. That was relaxing, but Vegas isn't really my scene. I'm not big on partying or clubbing. The shows are pretty cool. I don't gamble too much, either. We were there for three nights, and that felt like plenty. A big thank you goes out to my sister-in-law for joining us there and providing some babysitting so we could go out like adults a couple of times.

My final grades were respectable. For the semester I have a 2.9 GPA; for the year it's 3.1. That's not going to win me any scholarships, but it's respectable. All things considered, I think that's pretty good. And more importantly, I feel like I was studying smarter at the end of the semester. I think I can get on top of it earlier and do better in the future.

I went through orientation at Kaiser Permanente last week. It's not enough hours, and doesn't pay enough, to be my only source of income, so I'm still working at the casino, but it's good for me to get into a pharmacy and maybe some day it can become my main/only job.

MLB.com has a contest where you pick a team to win each day and try to build the longest streak. Each year I play and each year I put together a decent, double-digit win streak, but as of this morning I am actually tied for the lead with 20 wins in a row. If I win, I get a trip to next year's All-Star Game, and if my streak is 37 or more, I get $10,000 with it. Today I picked the home town team, the Colorado Rockies, if you want to cheer along at home. Right now I'm less worried about winning and more about the guy that I'm tied with losing. Of course, if both were to happen, that'd be ideal.

Saturday was my six-year anniversary. I'm more in love with my wife today than ever before. Sorry to bombard you with that sap-fest, but really, I'm not sorry. I think a lot of people get married for the wrong reasons today, or from the wrong state of mind, or to the wrong person, and I'm not ashamed to brag about my own marriage. It's not been easy, but it's been a success, and I like to brag.

I'm on twitter now @buffalopharmer, if you want to follow me. I don't know how often I'll be posting blogs this summer, so for tiny updates, Twitter is probably the way to go. For now, thanks for stopping by.

One more day to go

So for a couple of weeks I've had a pretty much constant craving for lemonade. Do you know how hard it is to find lemonade at the convenience store? Vitamin Water used to have a low-calorie lemonade flavor, but I can't get it any more. Last week at 7-Eleven, all they had was Squirt sparkling lemonade. That is delicious. But my lemonade quest is just the setting for my story. I think I found the guy with the worst and/or most embarrassing job in the world. This unfortunate fellow was changing out the dirty magazines for the new issues. I just wonder what course your life has to take to bring you to that point. "What do you do for a living?" Oh, I go around from one 7-Eleven to another putting out new issues of Hustler and Playboy. It really fulfills me. I don't know. A lot of people aren't fulfilled in their job, but that seemed like a particularly depressing way to be unfulfilled. I guess it's still a step removed from the graveyard cashier at the adult video store. It just makes me glad that I enjoy even the crappy non-permanent job I have now.

I have only one final exam left in the P1 year. I just took one that didn't go as well as I thought it would, but I'm pretty solidly on a C in that class so it's not the end of the world. I'm definitely going to pass the year unless I sleep through tomorrow's exam.

Going to Vegas next week. That'll be nice. Hopefully I'll win some money, because we is broke right now. I start at Kaiser on June 1st, which will be cool. The extra income will be especially helpful.

Xander is turning into a toddler. That's both good and bad. He's a lot more active, and interactive, and is starting to understand our rules. But he's also really starting to impose his own will on us. Pretty soon he'll be telling me he hates me and smoking cigarettes and getting girls pregnant. I'll be sure to let you know when that happens.

I'm really going to try to write again after this final, probably over the weekend. Thanks for stopping by, and I'll see you then.

So I used to have this blog...

... and it was pretty great. Then April hit like a hurricane and I sort of stopped writing it. That was definitely crunch time. To extend the metaphor, this post is but the eye of that hurricane. Finals start a week from today, and I just finished a test and I have one later today and another on Wednesday. It's meant some sleepless nights and a lot of time spent studying that I much rather would have spent with my family. The strain it's putting on my home life is palpable. My wife is so supportive, which goes a long way, and my son is always just happy to see me, but I don't like it. I miss them. The good news is I'm two weeks from getting to spend a LOT more time with them. The summer is going to be nice.

So, the Nuggets laid a total egg. It was a coaching problem. I don't know if Adrian Dantley is a bad coach, but he was coaching a team that wasn't his to begin with. You can't change coaches like that and expect to beat, or be, a legitimate contender. Oh well.

The Rockies aren't as good as I thought they would be; the Cubs are better. I think the Rockies will be fine. Maybe the Cubs will be, too. Most intriguing is the "Jason Marquis effect." Jason Marquis has been a major-leaguer for ten seasons, and in each year his team has made the playoffs. That made sense when he played for the Cardinals and the Cubs. Last year, the Rockies started abysmally, and I had counted them out by mid-May. Then they fired Clint Hurdle, and Jim Tracy led them on one of the all-time great season turnarounds. Well, this year he plays for the Nationals, who have long been a punch line in the National League. Today, the Nationals are 13-12, which for them is remarkable. And they have God's gift to professional baseball, Stephen Strasbourg, getting ready in the minors. This could be exciting.

And that's the news from Lake Woebegone, as it were. Thanks for stopping by. I'm going to try to update during the week because I feel like I'm forgetting something, but then again, that may not actually happen.

Buffalo Pharmer

So why did I change the name of my blog? Well, the Buffalo is the mascot of the University of Colorado Boulder. It's not really supposed to be associated with the other three campuses (Denver, Colorado Springs, and the Anschutz Medical Campus). They don't use the Ralphie logo any more, and student organizations aren't allowed to, either. None of the other campuses has a mascot, so I don't personally see the harm in borrowing the buffalo, but apparently the administration does. Whatever. So I dropped the buffalo from my blog. That said, the Buffalo Pharmer name was such a great pun, and people seemed to like it, so I think I'm going to switch back next week. Sorry to keep doing this to you.

There are some things that I like to do but hate to have done to me. Tousling my son's hair is a good example. I know it doesn't really feel good to the recipient, but I can't resist. He's too cute.

It occurred to me that my last several posts were written on very little sleep. I bet that makes them seem whiny. So sorry. I'll try not to do much more of that. Last night, I got three hours of sleep after work before my exam. What a difference that made! Now maybe I'll end up with a good grade in Principles of Drug Action.

I wasn't really looking forward to the Masters, but it turned out to be a great show. Seeing Phil Mickelson win it, the way he did, with his wife looking on, put a lot of perspective on the whole Tiger Woods thing. I'm sure what Tiger and his family are going through is very difficult for them, and I don't mean to diminish that hardship for them. But Tiger's predicament is directly the result of Tiger's actions. Yeah, it's tough for him, and yeah, he clearly wasn't 100%. I think we forgot, though, that Lefty's wife AND mother are battling breast cancer. It was a stark contrast. And I get the sense that while Tiger's off-the-course issues were getting in the way of his golf, I think for Phil it's the opposite. Over the past year, golf has really gotten in the way of Mickelson's personal life. It was refreshing to see such a high-profile guy who has his priorities in the right order. I like Tiger, and I admire him as a competitor, but as a family man or even as a man, I'm not all that impressed.

The weather has been extremely nice this past week. It's made studying a little difficult. I got to go to the Rockies home opener on Friday. I love baseball. It was a perfect day. I got sunburned on the right half of my face. The Rockies won.

My son split his head open on a door frame. Again. He's fine, but he's got six stitches in his face. He gets them out today. I feel bad for the guy. It's just about half an inch above the spot where he got hurt last time. If he can get another injury running sort of perpendicular to those two, he'll have a nice Harry Potter-style lightning bolt-shaped scar on his forehead. That might make me feel better about it. I mean, kids are going to get hurt, but I feel a little bad that he's going to have facial scars for his whole life. Well, maybe not. I got burned on my hand pretty badly as a child and the scar lasted for ten years or so. Then it spontaneously disappeared. I guess that could happen with Xander, too. Here's hoping.

Thanks for stopping by. Be sure to come back to whatever URL I'm using next week. Check them both, just to be sure.

Baseball returns

Sorry I missed last week. April is sucking already. But now it is also awesome, because last night was the first day of BASEBALL!!!! Dustin Pedroia, my fantasy second baseman, hit a home run. Also, I love baseball. All the other teams get in action today. I'm stoked. The Rockies should be excellent, and the Cubs could be good if enough things go their way.

I made flash cards for this morning's exam, and it really helped. I like my flash cards.

I won both of my March Madness pools. Of course, gambling on sports is illegal in my state, so there's no financial benefit to me, but the pride is well worth it. Also, I like being proved right. I get a better score if Duke wins tonight, but there's no way I can lose. Nobody really picked Butler to win it all.

How cute is this? At my dad's house last week, my son was hamming it up for the camera. Whenever my dad tried to take his picture, my son gave a goofy fake grin, closed his eyes, and tilted back his head. To your left you can see him and my sister doing the face together. Then when I tried to take his picture a couple days ago, he didn't respond at all. He stared at me with his mouth agape and a little bit of drool coming down his chin. I guess he doesn't like daddy's camera as much as grandpa's.

You'd think I would have more to say after two weeks without an update, but it's been non-stop hard work. I hate it. I miss my family. I have to remind myself all the time that it's just four years, and that this semester is just six more weeks and then it'll be three more years. I need to beat that mantra more or less to death.

Well, I guess I'll leave it at that. Thanks for stopping by.

I'm not sure where to start with this one

This picture is from the handicapped stall in the men's room at Wal-Mart. I find several things hilarious here: 1. They have a seat to strap your baby into while you take a dump. 2. They think you might need instructions on how to operate the device. 3. Somebody tagged it with a Sharpie.

Last week was Spring Break, and also my birthday. We took a mini-vacation to the Seattle area, where my brother-in-law lives. He was an excellent host, providing us with a bed, a car, and tons of food. It was only four days but it was extremely refreshing. We spent my birthday in downtown Seattle, first at the Space Needle and Science Fiction Museum and later at Pike Place Market. I got a coffee from the original Starbucks. It's not that big a deal, actually. I mean, it's a cool, urban Starbucks, but it didn't feel like sacred ground or anything.

I've been awake for 21 hours. I feel like a broken record at this point, with every Monday blog making mention of my crazy 6-night week. Anyway, I just took my exam so the rest of my day is wide open. I might take a nap, or I might stay up until six or seven or whenever Xander goes to sleep and just turn in early. Or a little of each.

The NCAA Men's Division I Basketball Championship is the greatest sporting event ever conceived. I love it. I love filling out brackets and rooting for Cinderellas and bragging when I pick it right and crying when Kansas loses in the second round and I have them in the championship game. Kansas, for the record, screws me every time. When I pick them to do well, they miss the Sweet 16 (i.e., 2006). When I say, "Not this time, Jayhawks!" and knock them out early, they win the national championship (i.e., 2008). So all you Jayhawk fans, you best hope I pick them for an early exit next year. I like your chances if I do.

The semester is halfway over. I get the sense that it's about to get a good deal harder. IOS 1 was a review of physiology. IOS 2 starts getting into specific systems and specific disease states and specific drugs for the treatment of those diseases. Bring it on. Oh, and the Interdisciplinary Ethics course starts next week. Woohoo.

The first regular season baseball game is two weeks from yesterday. Interesting baseball fact: Jason Marquis has played on a playoff team in each of his ten seasons in the major leagues. This year, Jason Marquis is playing for the ridiculously bad Washington Nationals. There's no way that trend can continue, is there? I'm guessing Marquis gets traded to a contender. We'll revisit in September.

OK, that's it for now. Thanks for stopping by.

Heartbreak and success, in equal measure

Of course, it's too soon to tell, but based on how I think my exams went today I have cause for both celebration and intense mourning. See, I had an exam in each of my major courses today (Principles of Drug Action and Integrated Organ Systems 1), but over the weekend I only studied for one (PDA), and foolishly chose the one that occurred later in the day. So I was immensely underprepared for my morning exam, and my score is certain to reflect that (unless I'm an extremely lucky guesser). On the other hand, I smoked the afternoon exam. It's almost guaranteed to be my highest test score of the semester, and it's certainly the best I've felt on the way out the door in some time. I'll let you know if my gut was right, but I can pretty much guarantee that the PDA score will be the higher of the two.

I interviewed for a pharmacist intern position at Kaiser a couple weeks ago, and they offered me the job. I wasn't really expecting that. I don't have pharmacy experience and I made a terrible mess of the first half of the interview. Then I let them know that my availability to attend orientation was restrictively limited by my vacation plans (going to Seattle over Spring Break to celebrate my birthday) and my school schedule (I can't skip classes on Monday, Wednesday, or Thursday). Also, I will still need to work my casino job three nights a week to pay the bills. Despite all that, they offered me the position, and even made it seem (in our phone conversation) that they wanted me pretty badly (not like they were settling to fill a spot). So I felt honored and validated by that, and accepted the offer. I'm not sure when I'll be able to start, but I'll finally get some experience in a pharmacy (which I desperately need).

My wife recovered most of the way from her illness. She's not 100% yet, but she's probably 80%, and that makes a big difference when you're caring for a toddler. In related news, I don't think my son caught the bug (knock on wood). It'll be a small miracle if he makes it through without incident, and reason to praise the Lord.

Speaking of reasons to praise the Lord, I'm constantly reminded of the many that I have. Last week I rode a bus with a man on crutches. He was using crutches because he only had one foot. I had to give a prayer of thanks when I saw that. I ride the bus to save money on gas and parking; many people ride the bus because they can't afford to or legally aren't allowed to drive. And I have full functionality in each of my limbs, and a working mind, and a healthy body. I got my cholesterol numbers on Wednesday, and they're all in or very close to the healthy range. My medication is definitely working. When I take stock of my life, I can't help but feel extraordinarily blessed.

That's all I've got today. Thanks for stopping by.

Resetting my circadian rhythm

Here we go again.

Right now my work schedule is 6-2 on Friday, 9-6 on Saturday (that's 9 pm to 6 am), and 8-4 on Sunday. Monday mornings we have exams. That's every Monday for the rest of the semester. So basically, I only sleep six nights a week. On Fridays I wake up at a quarter to six (a.m.) and stay up until 3 or 4, effectively setting my circadian rhythm to the graveyard shift. On Sundays I wake up no earlier than 4 p.m. and stay up all night, doing my best to make it to 8 p.m. and set the rhythm back to that of a normal human being. And this is the routine I'll work on for the rest of the term.

As a result, I fell asleep on the bus this morning and in the foggy haze between clear, coherent thought and some crazy dream I invented the word "faculcade." I'm pretty sure that's a portmanteau of "faculty" and "cavalcade," but I'm open to suggestions. I've no idea what the context of that word is, but it fit seamlessly with my nonsensical train of thought.

If you like the Oscars and you like gambling, I have the perfect event for you: My annual Oscar pool! Shoot me an email if you want in on some of that action.

My wife and I had a night out with no baby. We went to Breckenridge, saw a comedy show, and stayed at our friends' parents' condo. It was fantastic. That was the first night that Xander's been home without one or both of us there. My wonderful sister and brother-in-law stayed over, and it actually went pretty well. I was a little worried that I would be too worried about him to enjoy myself (Wow; when I say it that way I sound neurotic) but for one night it wasn't so bad. I don't know if we could do more than that, but it was really nice to go out like adults and not have to worry about getting home to relieve the babysitter or anything like that. (Kyle and Nicole, if you're reading this, THANK YOU.)

The downside to all that fun weekend having is that I was severely underprepared for my exam today. I still passed (I think) but my chances at an A in this class are getting slimmer by the week. That's OK. I'm not going to school for the grades, am I?

In sporting news, pitchers and catchers have reported to spring training (with position players not far behind) and the New Jersey Nets are the worst sports team of the young century with a winning percentage of .089. I think that's even more impressive than the Lions' 0-16 season because basketball is less predictable a game. I mean, even a bad team can win against a good team in basketball once in a while (you know, like 5 times out of 56, if you're the Nets) but a bad football team will probably never beat a good one.

I guess that's all I've got for this week. I'm probably forgetting something but I'm pretty tired since I've been awake for 22 hours.

New reasons to hate Boulder

Last night, I took my family to Pearl Street in downtown Boulder for some shopping and dinner. That sounded like a pretty good idea, right? Not so much.

First, the temperature dropped ten degrees or more on our way (we left as the sun was setting, so that's partly on us). An outdoor mall is not so cool when you can't feel your toes. But that wasn't terrible. A lot of the shops were either closed or lame, but that was something we could deal with. We ended up eating at Old Chicago, which was great. Just getting to spend some relaxed time with my wife and son was worth all those hassles, including the crazy lady that was yelling at the cops in front of one of the bars. (Actually, that was pretty entertaining, aside from feeling a little concerned for Xander's safety.) Then we went to Starbucks and things got ugly.

After we got our drinks, Xander was tootling around the store (Cafe? What do you call a Starbucks?), tripped on his scarf and fell right onto the sharp corner of the door frame. Ouch. He falls a lot, because he's a toddler, but this time he was bleeding, badly. Don't worry; he's going to live. We stopped the blood right there in the bathroom and got it bandaged up. I don't know about scarring yet, but I don't think there's any brain damage or skull fracture or any of that serious stuff. It was just a scary, stressful moment.

Then I couldn't find my way out of Boulder. After a couple of missed turns we finally got onto a good route (with the help of my wife's GPS) only to drive past a guy lying on the ground next to his bike. My first thought was, Wow, that guy's so drunk he can't stay on his bike. Then my thought was, Wait, it's eight o'clock. He's probably dead! Then my thought was, I really should stop because I know CPR. And very quickly, I don't really want to give CPR right now. We ended up driving in a couple of loops to get back to the guy only to find that he was just fine. I don't know if he was drunk, high, or terribly uncoordinated, but we saw him walking next to his bike (Excellent idea, sir!) and figured he was in good enough shape to get home.

So I hate Boulder even more than I used to. I probably won't be going back there ever again. Well, that's an exaggeration, but not likely to go on family dates to Pearl Street any more.

In other news, someone told me to include more baseball and more pictures of my son in my posts. With that in mind, pitchers and catchers report to Spring Training in six days. I'm very excited about it. My favorite non-Rockie, non-Cub players, Tim Lincecum, was offered a three-year deal today by the Giants. That's sort of a big deal to baseball fans. Lincecum has requested a record salary for his upcoming arbitration hearing. He's going to make a crazy amount of money for a player in his third year. The kid is a year younger than I am and will probably make ten million dollars this year. That's ridiculous. I wish I did something that well that I could demand top dollar for my services. I'm not even talking about millions. I'd just like to be able to go to my employer and say, "Hey, you know how you pay everybody this much? Yeah, I really think I should get double that." Anyway, that's my baseball news. Here's a bonus picture of Xander.

The Nuggets are playing extremely well right now, and they're fully healthy. Watch out for this team in the playoffs. They've beaten the Lakers twice, once in each city, once without Carmelo Anthony. Only one other team has beaten Kobe twice this year, and that's the Eastern Conference favorite Cleveland Cavaliers. LA will face the Nuggets twice more this year - February 28 in LA and April 8 in Denver. If the Nuggets can win both of these, it gives them a ridiculous psychological edge come playoff time. Remember the chant last year to the Dallas Mavericks? "You can't beat us..."

That's all I got for this week. Sorry it's later than normal. I'll try to get back on schedule this week. It should be easier with Monday being a holiday. Thanks for stopping by.

Super Bowl

I'm on a quick study break but I wanted to get this on the record in case it turns out to be right. A lot of people are picked the Colts to win the Super Bowl going away, saying that Peyton Manning is some kind of football computer and nobody can stop him. I don't think this Super Bowl is about Peyton at all. I think it boils down to Dwight Freeney. If Freeney is able to play at full strength, the Colts will win handily and the Saints will have trouble scoring. But I think Freeney will be out, or even worse, will try to play despite being severely hampered by his injury. And if that happens, I don't know that the Saints will punt at any point during the game. Yeah, Peyton Manning will dissect the Saints' defense, and yeah, he can drive down the field and score at will, but so can Drew Brees. If the Saints can protect him, he will go right back down the field and match Peyton score for score. All it takes is one stop, and one stop is not so hard. So that's my prediction. With Freeney out, the Saints and the over is a LOCK. If Freeney can play, then the Colts and probably under (but not probable enough to be it). I just want to be able to say I told you so.

This feels like a trick

So far, this semester has been much more manageable than the fall. We just had our first exam yesterday, and I figure to make a high B on it. Even if it went disastrously wrong I still made a low B/high C. I've spent less time studying and it feels like I'm in class for less of the day. What's the catch? I think Integrated Organ Systems II (and all subsequent IOS classes - we have these for the next four semesters) is harder than IOS I. And at the end of March we get an interdisciplinary ethics course that runs for the last month of the semester. My gut tells me that April will be hell month. But until then, I'm going to enjoy a lighter load.

Xander got sick in Texas. I think he's finally better, but he was an absolute terror for a week. My wife's been dealing with this largely on her own, which is the part I hate the most. This is what I have to give up in order to be both a full-time student and the household provider. All that stress of dealing with a non-stop crying baby who can't be consoled falls on her. I got a good taste of what that was like yesterday, and after an hour I was losing my mind. I'm not sure how she does it. Sometimes I think I won the marriage lottery.

I'm excited for baseball to start. I know, it's a long way off, but I'm still getting excited about it. Both of my teams have made some moves in the off season. I'm not terribly optimistic about the Cubbies because I think last year is roughly indicative of their abilities as a team and I don't think they got any better. The Rockies, on the other hand, flipped the World's Luckiest Pitcher, Jason Marquis, for a more promising arm in Tim Redding. And they re-signed the most crucial piece in Jason Giambi. I used to think their general manager Dan O'Dowd was an idiot, but I'm starting to see that he does, in fact, know what he's doing and he's getting remarkable things done with cheap ownership. I'm sure the Rox will end up with 70 wins or something now that I've jinxed them, but I like their chances at the NL West or another Wild Card this year. Especially with Jeff Francis finally healthy.

OK, enough baseball. It's February. I just couldn't think of much else to talk about. I guess I'll just see you next week. Thanks for stopping by.

That whole Monday morning blog thing? Yeah, that's not really happening so much.

There is some irony, I suppose, that I announced Monday morning as the time for my blog posts to come out (after happening to write one every Sunday night for several weeks) and haven't posted one on time since. Well, I'm sorry for that. It did let me know that I actually have some readers, though! Thanks for that, both of you.

One week of classes is in the books. The nature of this program, however, makes it seem like nothing has really been accomplished. So much of the course work is didactic lecture (ungraded), independent reading and study (ungraded), and a few exams (graded). Next Monday is the first exam; we also have weekly quizzes in Skills and our first quiz in Health Care Systems next week. But Skills is pass/fail, so that doesn't feel like a big deal, and the HCS quiz is online, so it doesn't feel like real classwork. There are basically no papers in the first year of pharmacy school (at CU, anyway). That's been a huge adjustment for me. Each of my English classes had a final paper of 10+ pages due, and a lot of my literature classes were discussion-based, not lecture-based. This whole going to class, sitting and listening, and getting no feedback on my comprehension of the material until the exam business is pretty new to me. I'm not complaining - they definitely don't load you up with busy work - just pointing out how different it is.

Either the hammer has yet to fall or this semester is more manageable than last. I'll let you know which when I figure it out. I think I made enough adjustments to my study habits - like staying on campus to study after class instead of going straight home - to have a fair chance of avoiding burnout.

In case you were wondering, this weekend was not so productive. I'm OK with that. I didn't get behind on anything, and I spent some time with friends and extended family that I don't normally have available. Still, it would have been reassuring to be ahead of schedule in something.

For whatever reason, I never shared my struggles with my intern license on this forum. That's odd. Anyway, pharmacy students are granted intern pharmacist licenses while students in order to learn the profession in experiential fashion. Under the supervision of a state-recognized preceptor, these interns can do just about anything that a full pharmacist can do, and the idea is that supervised practice is the best preparation for unsupervised practice. Well, most of my class received their intern licenses about a month after school started. A portion of the class, however, had theirs delayed due to the background check portion of the application. Most of these, including mine, were due to repeat traffic offenses. I had two speeding tickets and a "defective vehicle" charge (standard plea bargain for a careless driving charge that isn't a serious case) from 2000 to 2002, and then another speeding violation in 2006 and another defective vehicle in 2008. Apparently that causes concern that I may not have an appropriate respect for the law. I'm not going to get into the various reasons why that isn't the case with me. All I'm going to say is that I finally got my intern license. This means that if I had time for it in my schedule I could get a job in a pharmacy. I'm going to try to get one in the summer, but right now it would just take me away from my family and get in the way of my school work, so for now it's just a fancy name tag that I can show off at parties.

In an hour, my wife and son land at the airport. They were only gone for three days, but I missed them a lot. It's not that I'm so dependent on my family that I can't function without them for a weekend. I'm just a much better person when they're around. Having someone to come home to makes me come home faster, and having someone to play with makes me do my chores sooner. I wasted a lot of time this weekend. But I am quite nearly a Wii Tennis pro, which ought to count for something.

That's all the news from my otherwise uneventful week. Thanks for stopping by, and keep checking back on Mondays (or Tuesdays, if there isn't one Monday).

Best. Cookies. Ever.

I paid $3.49 for this box of twelve cookies. I think, given that they are limited edition, I got a pretty good deal. Seriously, though, all joking aside, I love these things. I'll gladly pay more than a quarter per cookie. Never mind that a regular box of Oreos is like two bucks for three times that many. If you cover my Oreo in white fudge, I can't pay too much for it. And no, under no circumstances may you have one.

All that complaining about not having any homework must have worked. The day after I posted that entry they posted our first assignment. We go back to school tomorrow, and I'm really looking forward to it. Sort of. I mean, I'm saying farewell to sleep for the next two months, but I feel like I've started forgetting things from last semester. Also, I feel like the first semester was almost a different life. I've been getting into the swing of things at what is still a relatively new job (a job that I love, by the way) and enjoying some time with friends and family. It doesn't feel like I've been a student these past four weeks. People keep asking me how school is going, and I don't know what to say to that. I mean, it's going well, because I haven't been in it for a month, and because all my grades were good, but it's sort of like, "Oh yeah, I'm still in school."

The courses for this semester, in case any of you care, are Principles of Drug Action, Integrated Organ Systems 1 & 2, US Health Care Systems, and the two pass/fail classes that run the length of the program, Professional Skills Development and Experiential Practice. In April we have an interdisciplinary ethics course that will feature students from each of the schools at the medical campus working in small groups. We did an orientation activity with our groups in August, and that was sort of cool. We'll see what tune I'm singing when we add that course in the middle of the semester. I just realized that this semester, P1 Spring, is the lightest load in terms of credit hours in the entire program. So if this semester almost makes me lose my mind, any of the remaining semesters ought to finish me off.

If you actually like reading this blog (I'd be surprised, but who knows), my brother is doing a similar thing only he's doing a semester abroad in Montpellier, France. Also, he's a better writer than me with more interesting things to say. Here's a link.

Tonight I'm going to get a full night's sleep, wake up early and eat breakfast, and pack a delicious lunch. Last semester our days were short but they managed this by pretty much eliminating breaks from our day. This time we get a lunch break every day but it means that class runs longer. I don't know which way I'm going to like better. Probably the one that let me come home for an afternoon nap last semester, but you can't overestimate the value of a little break.

This coming weekend my wife is visiting her friend in Texas. I wish I could go with them. I don't like going to bed alone, and I never get enough sleep when I do. I like to think that I'll be able to focus and knuckle down and get ahead on some studying, but I think I'll probably just get nice and caught up on my Wii playing when all is said and done.

I think that's enough for today. Thanks for stopping by, and come back soon.

I have another week of this crap?

So basically I'm ready for school to start. I know, given my last several posts of the school year, that I probably shouldn't complain, but this is getting ridiculous. Every other school in the state (that I know of) is back in class already or starts this morning, including CU Boulder. But UC Denver? Yeah, we start next Tuesday, after the Martin Luther King, Jr. holiday. I've no idea why. The break is an entire month. I'd realy prefer to just start this week and end a week earlier in May. And I could really use the financial aid immediately. I make almost enough money to support us all by myself, but my hours have been down since that first hectic month and we need just a little bit of supplementation that we've been without since we moved into this house.

Also, I have no material for my blog. The break is relaxing, but I feel like a broken record. I got to spend some time with friends, which is a novel experience. I'm getting a lot of time in with my son, too, and I love that. It just feels like I'm in a holding pattern for the next week. I wish our first few assignments were available to us now so I could start working on them. I'd definitely take the chance to get ahead. Anyway, with a break this long, it'll be hard to jump right back into school with no transition. I'm not looking forward to any of that.

And that's about all I have right now. I'm not going to waste any more of your time with this inanity. Thanks for stopping by, and hopefully next week I'll have something to say.

Happy New Year

Just a few thoughts this week; nothing very deep and nothing very connected. I didn't want to let the blog flatline while I was on break, but I don't have a whole lot to say, either.

New Year's Eve is my least favorite holiday. I have no idea what all these people are celebrating. Maybe it's because I stay up that late every day, but I don't see the appeal. We made it through another year. Awesome. January 1st is an arbitrary day that we picked hundreds of years ago to be the start of our calendar year. It carries no major significance. I like doing year-end recaps and watching the 10 best plays on SportsCenter and lists of the 10 best movies and songs and all that but the whole getting drunk and counting down and ringing in the new year just makes me angry. It's really not that big a deal. I mean, if someone else has a better understanding of the significance, please let me know what it's really about. As far as I can tell it's just an excuse to get drunk with the next morning off to recover. Grow up and use a sick day already.

This break has been so good for me. I feel well rested and connected with my family. I've had all kinds of time to just be lazy and do whatever I want. Work is going well, although I'd like a few more hours. I can't complain too much about my hours, though, because three days a week is perfect once I start back to school in two weeks.

We had a great Christmas. Xander got spoiled rotten for the second year in a row. He still hasn't caught on to the concept of presents, at least not completely. He opened a rocking horse from his great-grandma and then decided he should climb on top of the box for a while. I think he actually got that the gifts he was opening were for him (a vast improvement over last year, when they unwrapping was the best part), but he lost interest after just a couple. And clothes were not very well received. He opened an adorable polo shirt from my dad, picked it up, and threw it. Not impressed.

It has struck me that I've basically been an adult for a decade. That may be stretching the facts a little (I was a 16-year-old senior in high school ten years ago) but I've certainly been more independent than not since the year 2000. I've held at least one job for all but about six weeks of the last decade. I've lived more than half of each year of this decade outside of my parents' home with the exception of 2000 (I only lived in the dorms from August to December of that year). I think I've been making my own decisions and doing everything I could to take care of myself over the last ten years. Maybe I grew up too early, but that doesn't change the facts. Now I'm fully independent (financially speaking), married, a father, a homeowner... that feels like a significant accomplishment. Maybe it just means I've become a fully brainwashed member of society. I'm OK with that. I feel no strong desire to oppose my dominant culture. Belonging to the system suits me.

I think that's all I have for now. There's something terribly wrong with the Nuggets, and that bums me out. Jay Cutler had two great games this week, now that they don't mean anything to his team. At least it means the Broncos don't get as good a draft pick from the Bears. I have a bad feeling about both of my baseball teams for 2010, too. Maybe it'd be better if I didn't focus on sports for the time being. I think I'm going to start rooting for the Mountain West Conference in college football. They're lovable underdogs. So go TCU tonight. I hope the Horned Frogs win by 50 points. Congratulations to BYU, Utah, Air Force, and Wyoming on their impressive bowl wins.

Thanks for stopping by, and come back next week. I promise to have something better to say.

'Bout time for a blog, i'n't it?

I wish you could have been there in the car with me a year ago. Well, that's of course not true. I wouldn't wish that experience on anybody. But I wish you could learn from what happened to me. There are experiences in a person's life that just can't be communicated to another, and that was one of them. The birth of my son is, too. Yeah, everyone hears about how incredible it is to see your child being born, and you hear people telling you to appreciate what you have while you still have it, but that's not just us saying it. Watching Xander draw his first breath was the greatest moment of my life. Nothing even comes close. From the very first instant I saw that beautiful boy I loved him unconditionally. If you're a parent, you know exactly what I'm talking about, and if you aren't you can't possibly. Sorry. I wish I could explain it somehow, but it's one of those special moments that you're either a part of or you aren't.

So my car accident was a little bit like that. Time slowed down, almost stopped, as I realized lightning-quick that I wasn't going to be able to stop the car or regain control of it. I remember swearing and letting go of the wheel and saying a silent prayer that more or less said, "Yo, you got this, Lord." It's weird that in what I thought might be the last seconds of my life I would phrase a prayer like that, but I promise that's the closest translation to what I was thinking. And the car spun around so that I couldn't see the car in front of us any more and then I could see the car behind us and then we went off the road and time went back to regular speed. The flip was a pretty cool ride, especially in retrospect, knowing that I survived it essentially unharmed. I had a moment when my elbow was pressing into my shattered driver's side window that I thought, "Hey, let's do that again."

There were a lot of other thoughts going through my head at the moment, including a massive sigh of relief. After I caught my breath, I wanted to know that both of my passengers were OK, and I'm eternally grateful that they were. I assume the only thing worse than killing yourself in a car wreck is killing someone else and living. I'm struck by the kind-heartedness of people in this world. Before we could really compose ourselves, some Romanian guy that I've never seen since (it turns out I use to work with his sister) was opening the passenger side door and helping us climb out of the wreckage. Another good Samaritan went on ahead and called in the accident to the State Patrol. All three of us got rides home from tired casino employees who surely would rather have been in bed. If anyone who reads this stopped for us that cold, snowy night, thank you. I didn't get a chance to say that to most of you, but you should know that it meant a lot.

My only regret about the accident is that my perspective was only temporarily changed by it. When I finally got home that morning, I was so relieved to see my wife and to know that I had survived to spend another day with my family. I kept a little chunk of windshield glass as a reminder of the day that God decided Xander needed his daddy. Once in a while I remember that, and try to honor that gift by being the best dad that I can, but too often I just get dragged down by the day-to-day. Life is so fragile, and so precious, and I spend so much of my limited resources on attending to my own petty needs, and on dragging other people down in an effort to feel better about myself. That's a tragedy. We should all focus on the positive, and put our energy into pleasing each other, not ourselves. It's the least we can do with this amazing gift we've been given.

So I'll reiterate the advice I gave last Christmas: Hug your loved ones, and tell them how you feel. Merry Christmas, everyone.

A one-eighth pharmacist

So, yesterday was my final final. At about 9:30 am on December 17, I completed the final piece of assigned coursework in my first semester of pharmacy school. And that felt really good. I made it through the semester, passing everything. In fact, I got no grade worse than a B. Given that I worked more than all but one of my peers, I'm pretty satisifed with that outcome. I'm still married, and my son still knows who I am. And now I have a month to just chillax.

So far, pharmacy school both is and is not like I'd expected it would be. For one, there's a lot less structured work. Between tests, most classes don't have anything due. I've written something like five papers, summing not more than twenty pages, and haven't had a single comment made about my ability to communicate. In part that's because I'm a better writer than most of my colleagues, but it's largely because there's no need to count off for little errors or poor word choices. Remember, I'm used to writing for English classes.

It's harder than anything I've ever done academically, but the material is no harder to understand than any of the math or science I've taken before. It's very clear and almost always concrete learning. What makes pharmacy school so hard is quantity. I'm learning more things faster than I ever have before. And it's sticking. A friend of mine is taking Vicodin to help him deal with some hernia pain. I know what that is, I know how often he's supposed to take it, and I know that he can't take Tylenol at the same time. Granted, a lot of people know that who haven't ever taken a pharmacy school class, but I didn't know that coming in and because we studied prescription narcotic analgesics this semseter I do now. I also know how to look up any drugs I didn't know about before, and how to gain useful information from the drug information sources I have available. It's cool to see how quickly I'm learning this stuff.

Over the holidays I'm sure I'll keep blogging. It probably won't be about school again until the next semester starts. I wanted to do my next on-site experiential module over the break, but this is not permitted. So much for getting a head start. I have some other ideas of ways to stay on top of the material, but I might just want to take the month off and be glad for it. I'll try to work some more and save some money so I don't end up in a big financial crisis like I did in October. I also wanted to share some of my feelings about my car accident a year after the fact, but I'll save those for my regular weekly post. That should still be out by Monday morning, if you're looking for it.

Thanks for stopping by, and come back soon.

It's a repost, but it's a good one.

Sorry I didn't post last week. This week is finals, and I haven't found time for it. In fact, this week I'm posting something I wrote a year ago. A year ago today I was in a pretty serious car accident, and miraculously nobody was hurt. Shortly after the accident, I posted this to my facebook:

For those of you who don't know me as well, I work at one of Colorado's "historic" mountain casinos, The Lodge (built in 1998). It's not THAT far into the mountains (20 miles from Golden, Denver's Westernmost suburb) but it is three thousand feet higher and most of the roads that take you there are windy canyon roads.

On Saturday it snowed all night. I carpool with two other people and we work until close (2 am). The first major snow of the year always freaks people out and inevitably the main canyon road, highways 6 and 119, closes due to accidents. Often it closes during every snow. Sure enough, on Saturday night there was a fatality that closed the canyon for several hours. This being a Saturday night, the "back-up" way home was backed up all the way into Black Hawk. There's a third way, Golden Gate Canyon Road, that most customers don't know about. It's used primarily by employees and primarily in weather like we had on Saturday. So I put the Montero in 4WD and had at it.

Golden Gate Canyon Road is safe. It's windier than 6/119 and sees a lot fewer plows, but I've gone that way at least a dozen times in weather far worse. It's never been a problem in the past. It wasn't a problem most of the way down on Saturday. There were four or five cars (including mine) in a little line of traffic. I was second behind an enormous pickup truck. We were three miles from the mouth of the canyon (i.e., almost home) and at that point my car hadn't even slipped or slid the entire time. But on a little patch of ice as we came around what was just a slight bend, my car started to spin out.

I never was very good at getting out of a spin. I tried, but quickly realized I wasn't going to be able to do anything but make it worse. I took my feet off the pedals and threw up a quick Carrie Underwood-style "Jesus, take the wheel." (Okay, what I actually said was more like, "Oh, shit," but same idea.) We drifted right as our back end spun around until we went off the road and down a moderate embankment into a ditch. If I had to guess, I'd say we went down 10 to 15 feet. We also rolled over all the way and then another quarter turn and came to rest on the driver's side in a wide, flat ditch. There was a lot of glass everywhere.

My first thought, with my elbow in the snow, was, 'I think I'm actually OK.' From the back seat, Brett asked if everyone was. Aside from the fact that she was hanging from her seatbelt, Melissa was, too. "Hey Dorn," Brett suggested, "Can you turn off the engine?" Even after all that, the car was still running. Melissa managed to open the door with her feet, and Brett had all the room in the world to stand up, so they quickly climbed out of the car. At that point a lot of cars had stopped and people - some I knew, some I didn't - were helping us out and down safely to the ground. Someone threw down a rope and we climbed out of the ditch. Two cars of coworkers who had stopped gave us rides home. In the end, I had a scratch on my wrist and two on my nose. Melissa had a bruise and a scratch across her abdomen. We were all a little sore in the neck and shoulders. But we all walked out of there, and if you've seen the pictures you know how big a miracle that is.

I don't know, and probably never will know, what caused us to lose control like that. I don't know how I had the serenity to let go and enjoy the ride, as it were. There wasn't really any panic in my thought process, and the rolling was actually a little fun. What I've had the most trouble with, though, is the hand of God on the car that night. Just about any other spot on that road leads to a solid wall of trees or a much deeper drop-off or both. If Melissa hadn't been wearing her seat belt, we'd had carried her up the embankment. We even had cars directly behind and in front of us, and most of the people who stopped were coworkers. I kept a small piece of glass (there were plenty) from my window. It's a reminder of the night that God decided Xander still needed a daddy.

Don't take your lives for granted. Buckle your seat belts. Keep your eyes on the road. Thank God every day you wake up for another chance to be with the ones you love. This Christmas, give big hugs to your family. You never know when you might lose them.