'Bout time for a blog, i'n't it?

I wish you could have been there in the car with me a year ago. Well, that's of course not true. I wouldn't wish that experience on anybody. But I wish you could learn from what happened to me. There are experiences in a person's life that just can't be communicated to another, and that was one of them. The birth of my son is, too. Yeah, everyone hears about how incredible it is to see your child being born, and you hear people telling you to appreciate what you have while you still have it, but that's not just us saying it. Watching Xander draw his first breath was the greatest moment of my life. Nothing even comes close. From the very first instant I saw that beautiful boy I loved him unconditionally. If you're a parent, you know exactly what I'm talking about, and if you aren't you can't possibly. Sorry. I wish I could explain it somehow, but it's one of those special moments that you're either a part of or you aren't.

So my car accident was a little bit like that. Time slowed down, almost stopped, as I realized lightning-quick that I wasn't going to be able to stop the car or regain control of it. I remember swearing and letting go of the wheel and saying a silent prayer that more or less said, "Yo, you got this, Lord." It's weird that in what I thought might be the last seconds of my life I would phrase a prayer like that, but I promise that's the closest translation to what I was thinking. And the car spun around so that I couldn't see the car in front of us any more and then I could see the car behind us and then we went off the road and time went back to regular speed. The flip was a pretty cool ride, especially in retrospect, knowing that I survived it essentially unharmed. I had a moment when my elbow was pressing into my shattered driver's side window that I thought, "Hey, let's do that again."

There were a lot of other thoughts going through my head at the moment, including a massive sigh of relief. After I caught my breath, I wanted to know that both of my passengers were OK, and I'm eternally grateful that they were. I assume the only thing worse than killing yourself in a car wreck is killing someone else and living. I'm struck by the kind-heartedness of people in this world. Before we could really compose ourselves, some Romanian guy that I've never seen since (it turns out I use to work with his sister) was opening the passenger side door and helping us climb out of the wreckage. Another good Samaritan went on ahead and called in the accident to the State Patrol. All three of us got rides home from tired casino employees who surely would rather have been in bed. If anyone who reads this stopped for us that cold, snowy night, thank you. I didn't get a chance to say that to most of you, but you should know that it meant a lot.

My only regret about the accident is that my perspective was only temporarily changed by it. When I finally got home that morning, I was so relieved to see my wife and to know that I had survived to spend another day with my family. I kept a little chunk of windshield glass as a reminder of the day that God decided Xander needed his daddy. Once in a while I remember that, and try to honor that gift by being the best dad that I can, but too often I just get dragged down by the day-to-day. Life is so fragile, and so precious, and I spend so much of my limited resources on attending to my own petty needs, and on dragging other people down in an effort to feel better about myself. That's a tragedy. We should all focus on the positive, and put our energy into pleasing each other, not ourselves. It's the least we can do with this amazing gift we've been given.

So I'll reiterate the advice I gave last Christmas: Hug your loved ones, and tell them how you feel. Merry Christmas, everyone.

A one-eighth pharmacist

So, yesterday was my final final. At about 9:30 am on December 17, I completed the final piece of assigned coursework in my first semester of pharmacy school. And that felt really good. I made it through the semester, passing everything. In fact, I got no grade worse than a B. Given that I worked more than all but one of my peers, I'm pretty satisifed with that outcome. I'm still married, and my son still knows who I am. And now I have a month to just chillax.

So far, pharmacy school both is and is not like I'd expected it would be. For one, there's a lot less structured work. Between tests, most classes don't have anything due. I've written something like five papers, summing not more than twenty pages, and haven't had a single comment made about my ability to communicate. In part that's because I'm a better writer than most of my colleagues, but it's largely because there's no need to count off for little errors or poor word choices. Remember, I'm used to writing for English classes.

It's harder than anything I've ever done academically, but the material is no harder to understand than any of the math or science I've taken before. It's very clear and almost always concrete learning. What makes pharmacy school so hard is quantity. I'm learning more things faster than I ever have before. And it's sticking. A friend of mine is taking Vicodin to help him deal with some hernia pain. I know what that is, I know how often he's supposed to take it, and I know that he can't take Tylenol at the same time. Granted, a lot of people know that who haven't ever taken a pharmacy school class, but I didn't know that coming in and because we studied prescription narcotic analgesics this semseter I do now. I also know how to look up any drugs I didn't know about before, and how to gain useful information from the drug information sources I have available. It's cool to see how quickly I'm learning this stuff.

Over the holidays I'm sure I'll keep blogging. It probably won't be about school again until the next semester starts. I wanted to do my next on-site experiential module over the break, but this is not permitted. So much for getting a head start. I have some other ideas of ways to stay on top of the material, but I might just want to take the month off and be glad for it. I'll try to work some more and save some money so I don't end up in a big financial crisis like I did in October. I also wanted to share some of my feelings about my car accident a year after the fact, but I'll save those for my regular weekly post. That should still be out by Monday morning, if you're looking for it.

Thanks for stopping by, and come back soon.

It's a repost, but it's a good one.

Sorry I didn't post last week. This week is finals, and I haven't found time for it. In fact, this week I'm posting something I wrote a year ago. A year ago today I was in a pretty serious car accident, and miraculously nobody was hurt. Shortly after the accident, I posted this to my facebook:

For those of you who don't know me as well, I work at one of Colorado's "historic" mountain casinos, The Lodge (built in 1998). It's not THAT far into the mountains (20 miles from Golden, Denver's Westernmost suburb) but it is three thousand feet higher and most of the roads that take you there are windy canyon roads.

On Saturday it snowed all night. I carpool with two other people and we work until close (2 am). The first major snow of the year always freaks people out and inevitably the main canyon road, highways 6 and 119, closes due to accidents. Often it closes during every snow. Sure enough, on Saturday night there was a fatality that closed the canyon for several hours. This being a Saturday night, the "back-up" way home was backed up all the way into Black Hawk. There's a third way, Golden Gate Canyon Road, that most customers don't know about. It's used primarily by employees and primarily in weather like we had on Saturday. So I put the Montero in 4WD and had at it.

Golden Gate Canyon Road is safe. It's windier than 6/119 and sees a lot fewer plows, but I've gone that way at least a dozen times in weather far worse. It's never been a problem in the past. It wasn't a problem most of the way down on Saturday. There were four or five cars (including mine) in a little line of traffic. I was second behind an enormous pickup truck. We were three miles from the mouth of the canyon (i.e., almost home) and at that point my car hadn't even slipped or slid the entire time. But on a little patch of ice as we came around what was just a slight bend, my car started to spin out.

I never was very good at getting out of a spin. I tried, but quickly realized I wasn't going to be able to do anything but make it worse. I took my feet off the pedals and threw up a quick Carrie Underwood-style "Jesus, take the wheel." (Okay, what I actually said was more like, "Oh, shit," but same idea.) We drifted right as our back end spun around until we went off the road and down a moderate embankment into a ditch. If I had to guess, I'd say we went down 10 to 15 feet. We also rolled over all the way and then another quarter turn and came to rest on the driver's side in a wide, flat ditch. There was a lot of glass everywhere.

My first thought, with my elbow in the snow, was, 'I think I'm actually OK.' From the back seat, Brett asked if everyone was. Aside from the fact that she was hanging from her seatbelt, Melissa was, too. "Hey Dorn," Brett suggested, "Can you turn off the engine?" Even after all that, the car was still running. Melissa managed to open the door with her feet, and Brett had all the room in the world to stand up, so they quickly climbed out of the car. At that point a lot of cars had stopped and people - some I knew, some I didn't - were helping us out and down safely to the ground. Someone threw down a rope and we climbed out of the ditch. Two cars of coworkers who had stopped gave us rides home. In the end, I had a scratch on my wrist and two on my nose. Melissa had a bruise and a scratch across her abdomen. We were all a little sore in the neck and shoulders. But we all walked out of there, and if you've seen the pictures you know how big a miracle that is.

I don't know, and probably never will know, what caused us to lose control like that. I don't know how I had the serenity to let go and enjoy the ride, as it were. There wasn't really any panic in my thought process, and the rolling was actually a little fun. What I've had the most trouble with, though, is the hand of God on the car that night. Just about any other spot on that road leads to a solid wall of trees or a much deeper drop-off or both. If Melissa hadn't been wearing her seat belt, we'd had carried her up the embankment. We even had cars directly behind and in front of us, and most of the people who stopped were coworkers. I kept a small piece of glass (there were plenty) from my window. It's a reminder of the night that God decided Xander still needed a daddy.

Don't take your lives for granted. Buckle your seat belts. Keep your eyes on the road. Thank God every day you wake up for another chance to be with the ones you love. This Christmas, give big hugs to your family. You never know when you might lose them.

So, what do you do?

Somewhere along the line, this blog became more or less a weekly column. I kind of like having that format attached to it. Let's make it official. Sunday night is now my official weekly post night. I might still throw in a bonus once in a while, but I'll make a commitment to you, my faithful reader: If you come by Monday morning, I'll have something new for you.

From time to time I have special moments with my son that catch me totally by surprise. It's usually witnessing a developmental milestone, like the first time he called me "Daddy." I'm still not convinced he really knows what that means, since he walks around the house saying "daddy, daddy!" to nobody in particular, but that was one of those times when I felt so happy to be a dad, and so totally in love with my little boy. A couple of months ago, when he was sick and we were in the waiting room at the doctor's office, we read a book together and he pointed out all the round objects in the pictures ("Ball! Ball!"). That was another one. This afternoon as I was leaving for work, I crouched down and spread my arms for a hug. I do this a lot. I say, "Hug?" and Xander looks at me and then goes wandering off after a ball or some crumbs on the kitchen floor. But not today. Today he walked right into my open arms and I gave him a big hug. Then when I let him go, he said, "Bye!" I probably could have cried, I was so happy.

I need these moments in my life to remind me of the reason I'm doing all the crazy work and school stuff I'm doing. It's not about me any more. I'm working 30+ hours while a full-time, professional student so that some day I won't have to be this busy. I'm doing all this so my son can be raised by his parents, not a nanny or a daycare. If it means I have to go days at a time without seeing them, it will all some day be worth it. Some people have a clear calling for their lives. They want to be pharmacists (or engineers, or astronauts, or presidents) from their early childhoods and never imagine doing something else. These are the people that would do their job even if it didn't pay anything. I admire people like that, but that will never be me. I'm not going to pharmacy school because it fulfills me. I think I'll contribute to society when I'm a pharmacist, and the field interests me, and I feel good about both of those things. I don't expect to have any difficulty doing it for the rest of my life. But if I won the PowerBall tomorrow, I probably wouldn't go on to be a career pharmacist. I'd finish school; I've invested too much time to back out now. I might even practice for a while, to make myself feel like I'd accomplished something. I just don't feel like my career as a pharmacist, or as anything else, will ever define me. Whatever I end up "doing with my life" will be secondary. To me, what I do with my life will be raising my family. That's my number one priority. Pharmacy is a means to that end. It's the best means I can find, because I don't know anybody who pays you to be a dad.

Since I'm hopelessly off on a tangent anyway, I might as well keep going. See, I think our society views work too seriously. One of the first questions you ask somebody when you meet them is, "So, what do you do?" And the answer? I'm an accountant. I work for IBM. I own my own business. I'm a poker dealer.

I don't blame people for asking, or for answering this way, because I do it, too. It's a social value. What you do to earn your living is one of the major characteristics of a person. But maybe it shouldn't be. What do I do? I chase my boy around the house. I play Cribbage and Scrabble with my wife. I love Wii Fit. I write a crappy little blog that so far has made ten dollars from advertisements but that fulfills me ten times more than the job that puts food on my table and a roof over my head. I tip well, I try not to speak negatively about other people, and I go to church every Sunday (even when it means I only get four hours of sleep).

I don't know if I'm trying to say we should change the way we make small talk. We probably shouldn't. Our society isn't based on forming substantial relationships with everyone you meet. What I'm trying to say is that we should stop defining ourselves, and our close friends and family, by how they earn a living. A job is a job. If you're one of the lucky ones who gets paid to do the thing they love the most, good for you. You're still allowed to answer that question with your job title. For the vast majority of us, I think we should change the way we think. My wife hasn't worked since May. When people ask me what she does, I proudly tell them that she's a stay-at-home mom. And I'm not embarassed to say that. I'm jealous of her.

Thanks for stopping by, and I'll see you next week.

It's almost December already

This sign appears on the Anschutz Medical Campus between the north and south wings of Education Building 2. I think it's hilarious. Not even the illustrative stick man wants to go see the dentist.

The semester is winding down! We don't have any more academic sessions in Skills. Finals start in like two weeks. Most classes have one exam remaining. There is no class Thursday or Friday. I'm almost certainly going to pass the term.

In fact, I have a good chance to make a 3.5 GPA or higher. That's exciting to me, given the struggles I've shared in this forum. I wonder if this is my own ego talking, or if maybe my readers feel the same way. Almost like, "Aw, look at li'l Buffalo Pharmer... he's come so far!" Well, I think having this outlet has helped, so even if you don't feel like you contributed to my success, you did. Thank you.

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. It's pretty much the only one that still means what it's supposed to mean. And Labor Day, maybe. But Thanksgiving is, and has always been, a day to get together with family, feast on some fantastic food, and be thankful for all the blessings in your life. Christ is gone from Christmas, and definitely gone from Easter. Memorial Day is a day to get drunk. So is St. Patrick's Day, although that may be more appropriate. Fourth of July? Drinking holiday. New Year's? That shouldn't even be a holiday. I'm still not clear about what we're supposed to celebrate on that one. MLK? Sweet, a day off! Halloween? Let's dress all skanky AND get drunk! You see my point. Thanksgiving remains true to its roots. I like that.

I think that's all I have right now. The Nuggets look pretty good, don't they? Yeah, they do. Thanks for stopping by, and come back soon.

I think I figured something out

First, a side note. One of the ads on my facebook Tetris game just now said "Dads get Master's Degree." I thought it would have to suck to share a graduate degree with other dads. Maybe tuition is less that way.

Anyway, the past couple of weeks I've been riding the bus to class a lot and as a result spending more time on campus. Almost magically, my comprehension of course material has gone up concurrently. It's almost like interacting with other students is improving my recollection of the material. Also, I feel more connected to my classmates. So, if you're one of the unfortunate students upon whom I have forced my need to study in a group, I'm sorry. I know that sort of came out of nowhere and without invitation. I appreciate it, though, and I feel confident that I'm going to succeed in pharmacy school for the first time since the semester began.

That's not to say that I had any doubts about passing. In some courses I've felt very good about my progress. This week I feel like I'm getting it all at once. There's no single class that I feel is a weak spot. I don't know whether I'm bound for a 4.0 or anything, but I'm going to do better than just getting by this semester.

I don't have a whole lot else to say at the moment. Maybe over the weekend I can make a longer post. For now, thanks for stopping by, and come back soon.

I miss my family

I miss my family.

I hate to beat this point to death, but I am far too busy. This isn’t what I thought pharmacy school would be like. I don’t know exactly what I was imagining, but involved me working much less and my wife working more. Instead, she’s not working while I’m working too much. In one sense, I’m happy to do this, because it lets her stay home with Xander, and I think that’s important. I don’t want my children to be raised by strangers. But on the other hand, I’m stretched way too thin. I’m exhausted on three or four days of the week, and on the others I’m just trying to catch up on sleep and school work. The thing that’s getting neglected her are my wife and my son.

Wednesday night I came home after not having spent any waking time with my son for three days. Suddenly he’s transformed into a walking, talking, tantrum-throwing toddler. This isn’t the same kid I was playing with even a week ago, and I missed it! Something changed while I was away at class and work, and I’m just worried that so much will change he won’t know who I am. He obviously prefers his mother, which is a pretty normal attachment, but I don’t feel like I’m his parent any more. I miss the days that I would be with him from waking until dinner time when Jaime finally got home from work. I miss taking him to the mall with me and I miss playing Dance Dance Revolution while he watches me and I know I’m missing so much right now that I’ll probably never experience. It makes me cry.

The last time I spent time with my wife without practically falling asleep or biting her head off because I was so exhausted was two weeks ago when a foot of snow closed just about everything in the city for a day and a half. That was a great time, but it was so brief and it only happened because of some lucky and well-timed weather. I hate that I’m doing this to her, and I don’t know what to do about it.

I know this might be a little awkward to read, depending on how well you know me. I’m not writing this to ask for your help, and I’m not trying to get anybody’s pity. I wanted to express these feelings in some way because I don’t have time to talk about it with anyone, and I don’t process my feelings verbally. When I started this blog I thought it would be an outsider’s guide to pharmacy school, but it very rarely is. If anyone’s still reading, I’m sorry, but thank you for sticking around. If you want, you can pray that I’ll have the wisdom to be a better husband and father. If you’re not that kind of person who prays, keep me in your thoughts. And please remember your loved ones. I know they drive us crazy sometimes, but trust me, you’d miss them if they weren’t around.

Thanks for stopping by, and come back soon.

Let me give you a bit of a rant here

I am not getting a pharmaceutical degree.

Increasingly, friends and coworkers and strangers have been asking me how my pharmaceutical studies are going. Let me clear a matter of vocabulary for you all. (Please note: this is not a dig at anybody in particular nor is it a personal attack. If you've been saying "pharmaceuticals" you shouldn't be offended - just keep reading.) I used to just let this go, since I know they're just trying to be interested in what I'm doing and make friendly conversation. But it makes me cringe inside every time I hear it.

Pharmaceutical sciences is a real field. My school offers a PhD program in it. This is the study of drug mechanisms, chemical reactions, kinetics, and so on. It's hard science. The guy behind the counter at Walgreen's does not get this degree. The guy at Pfizer who invents new drugs gets this degree. And I'd rather be the first one than the second. (Another note: I'm not committed to Walgreen's in specific or retail chain pharmacy in general; this is purely an example.) To be explicitly clear, I'm pursuing the Pharm.D. degree, or doctor of pharmacy. I will be a healthcare provider, not a scientist. I study existing drugs, not new ones, and well-established drug classes, not theoretical chemistry. So next time ask me how my pharmacy classes are going. I know it's tempting to adjective-ize (this is a word; look it up) it to pharmaceutical, but it's more appropriate to use the noun as an adjective. It's pharmacy school. Thank you for your time.

New house, new job, same crazy schedule

Well hello there! Let me get you current. We got the house I mentioned last time, and we got it for an even better deal. I can't help but think the hand of God was on this one. I locked my mortgage at the absolute lowest rate available (4.875%, can you believe that?) and then this crazy wrinkle with the appraisal happened. The house listed at 187.5K and we offered 195 with the seller paying 5000 in closing costs (so the actualy price is really 190). That was a payment we could afford, and still 5K less than we were budgeting for. So far so good. We did the inspection, and given that the house was bank-owned it's in great shape (probably better than the one we just sold). Still looking great. Then the appraisal came back at only 180. What? I thought I was getting a good deal, not screwed. Well, you can't get a loan for more than the value of the house, so 195 is now out of the picture. It turns out there was a short sale in the neighborhood for 175, a very comparable house, and the most recent and overpowering comparable the appraiser had to look at. So all he or she could stretch it to was 180. OK, so we went back to the seller and told them the situation. If they wanted to sell to us, it had to be at 180, not 195, or we wouldn't be able to get a loan. And the thing is, no one else would be able to either. They'd have to wait for that short sale to get ouside the six month window that appraisers use and then cross their fingers that the market went up or another comparable sold for more and who knows? Well, they took the sure deal, so we ended up offering high and getting it low. How's that for a deal? And the loan approval went through with no problems. I closed Thursday and we moved in Saturday. Already, Jaime (my wife, if you don't know her) has the house half unpacked. We put in new, stainless steel appliances and a laminate hardwood imitation floor in the dining room and I'm starting to love the house. There's less closet space, but the master bedroom is bigger and the laundry room is on the top floor, which should be very nice. The picture for this entry is our kitchen, pre-appliances. It's the best I have at hand (sorry).

So yesterday I started my new job. It's nothing too exciting; I just moved from one casino to the other. The thing is, business had gotten very slow at the Lodge. In fact, it was so slow that they were cutting schedules like crazy. I, and everyone hired after me, had been sent back to our sister property, the Gilpin. The money isn't in the same category over there. They pool tips which means nobody's working for their own money and the tips in general go down, both in frequency and amount. There was no way I could work there for very long and expect to make my bills. Even if I'd stayed at the Lodge, though, business was so far down that I wouldn't make my bills that way, either. So I bailed. I got hired by Ameristar, the company I used to hate, the looming, 32-story hotel tower that casts a shadow on the whole town (not literally; it's on the northern side of town so it casts its physical shadow on a mountain). I can't say a whole lot about it because I don't fully understand the company's policy on communication via blog about your job, but I like it so far. I made as much last night as I did in my entire week at the Gilpin (I only did one week there before I got out), and if I make that much again tonight my bills are met for the week. They're on the gravy train there right now, which is a place I've been before (last summer and fall at the Lodge), so I'm going to ride that while it lasts. I'm not going to sleep a lot, since they're working everybody 40+ hours per week, but if I can get some solid savings established from here to the end of the year, I think it's worth it. I think.

Side note: How bad does it suck to be a Cleveland sports fan? It's like their sports teams only look at recently fired coaches and managers to fill their vacant positions. I guess you have to get them from somewhere, but isn't there a reason these other teams fired them? Well, at least they have LeBron. And the Big Aristotle. And the Rock'n'Roll hall of fame. And.... Lake Erie?

My final grades in Science Foundations I and Drug Information turned out to be B+ and A-, respectively. I'll take it. Now I get a fresh start on Science Foundations II, which is mostly biochemistry, and I am killing it. No points missed so far, although we haven't had many. We just took our first test and I feel good about it. I may have missed a point or two, but I feel solidly in the A range. The other new course, taking the place of Drug Information, is Public Health and Economics. That should be easy but boring.

I think I'll stop here for now. Thanks for stopping by, and come back soon.

Well this all blew up in a hurry

A lot has happened since I last posted.

We got a house. It's in Thornton, which is closer to several of our friends and also (a little) closer to school for me. It's also not much further from work. It's a great balance, and it's a lot smaller payment than we used to have. That was the entire object of this move, after all. We're getting a nice house of the same size in a good neighborhood for something like $70,000 less than we sold the old one for. And if the real estate market turns around like everyone says it will, that house will go way up in value. So that's all good news.

Now the loan approval is tricky. In the last month we've seen business levels at work drop from near-record highs (largely due to the novelty of 24-hour gaming and higher bet limits) to all-time record lows. My paychecks are half of what they used to be, and still going down. I believe we'll recover, and if we don't I'll find a different job to get the bills paid, but the loan underwriters may not agree with me. So at this point I feel like I'm holding my breath and hoping. I should find out at some point this week, which is good, since we have to be out of our house by the 26th. (If you live in Denver and want to help me move, that'll be the morning of the 24th.)

Yesterday I took the last exam in Science Foundations I. That class is done. I will pass it, although not with an A. That's OK. Your GPA doesn't show up on your pharmacy license. I'm thinking I'll probably have a B in the course. It feels good to have finished something already. That was quick, wasn't it? Tomorrow is the final exam for Principles of Drug Information. I've already earned a C in that class (if I skip the final) so no worries there. The potential sad news is that we could lose people from our class this week. Actually, I think they let you finish the semester first, but you can't continue in the curriculum if you have one F or two Ds, or a GPA below 2.0. So anyone who fails one of those classes, or gets a D in each of them, it's no more pharmacy school for that student. I don't want to see my class shrink. We've already dropped from 161 to 158 students (I don't really know what happened to those three, but they were gone after the first week - probably accepted somewhere else or realized that pharmacy school wasn't the way for them) and I know we'll lose some more along the way, but it still breaks my heart to see someone put in that much work (and tuition money!) just to fail out.

The ethics committee met for the first time last week. I can't discuss anything that was said in the meeting, but it looks like it's going to be a busy year for us. I dig it.

How about those Bears? That week 1 loss was a little bit of a fluke there, but JAY CUTLER is lighting it up. Now imagine what he could do if he had some real receivers! Maybe the Bears can sign Brandon Marshall in the off season, or trade for Calvin Johnson.

It was cool to see the Rockies make the playoffs. It was heartbreaking to see No-clutch Troy Tulowitzki make the last out of two home games with runners on first and second. But the Rockies are for real, and everyone important is under contract, and if ownership forks over a little bit of money in the off-season, the Rockies will contend for the National League West next year. We can talk about the Cubs later. I like to stick with a winner.

And thankfully, basketball season is soon upon us. I'm sure the Nuggeys will be a frequent topic for me in the near future. Plus, I'd like to see more of those cool NBA ads on my blog. They look more professional than the little text ads that pop up normally.

We've been calling this week "hell week." We had two tests (Science Foundations I, Law) yesterday, one tomorrow (Drug Info), and one Thursday (Professional Skills Development). My case gets especially fun because I had a training class (Advanced Customer Service) at work yesterday and I get to go in to pick my new, less money-making schedule this afternoon. So that's two of my days off that I go up to Black Hawk for instead. I'm going to make a total of nearly 22 dollars for those two days. That will at least cover my gas for the trip. I'll have to make sure I stop off at the Golden Gates casino to enter their football pick-ems contest. It pays $250 to the weekly winner, and I was close two weeks ago (13-1, but three people were 14-0).

I don't really want to overload you any more at this point. I'll try to get a picture of the new house up and talk a bit more about it next time. Thanks for reading, and come back soon.

Figures

This is what I get for trying to manage my life. I had worked it all out so that I could spend Monday and Tuesday evenings chilling and hanging with my family and friends, respectively, provided I devoted all of Wednesday to homework and studying for the quiz in the morning. I probably didn't budget that time quite right, but it would have meant for a late-but-not-too-late night tonight. Unless.

At 6:30 this evening, right as we were heating up dinner, Xander started vomiting. We're not sure if it's a delayed reaction to Monday's immunizations or a reaction to the soy yogurt that he tried for the first time, but it was pretty bad. He's thrown up after shots before, but this time was a lot more severe than anything we'd seen before, and it didn't stop. He was miserable, and he started to get clammy and a little out of it. We ended up at the Children's Hospital Urgent Care an hour and a half later. It's 11:30 now and we're getting discharged, finally. They couldn't say for sure what caused the vomiting, but they were able to make it stop and get him rehydrated, so it looks like the storm has passed. That was a scary few hours.

And now it'll be midnight or later before I get home, and I have a quiz at 8 a.m. that I haven't studied for. Sometimes we need a little dose of humility in our lives. God had to step in and remind me that I'm not in control, and that procrastination is not the best policy. I'm just glad Xander is OK. I can do a day on limited sleep (especially with the help of my good friend Starbuck) and I'd much rather fail the quiz and have a healthy baby than the alternative.

In other news, the spellchecker man thinks "rehydrated" is not a word. It also thinks "spellchecker" is not a word. While I'm on rabbit trails, where did the name Starbucks come from? Is it from Melville? I might have to look into that.

They're letting us go home now, and I need to study. Thanks for stopping by, and come back soon.

P.S.: It's October.

Home Alone

My wife and son are in Seattle this weekend. They left yesterday afternoon, and I miss them already. It turns out that a three-bedroom house is awfully big when it's empty. It's just me and our dogs right now, and I feel like there are tumbleweeds rolling by when I walk into a room. On the one hand, it was really nice to be able to study all night and watch some TV without interruption, but I was pretty much over it by the time I went to bed. Bedtime is the worst, actually. It's really hard for me to fall asleep in an otherwise empty bed. I curled up on my wife's side to get a bit of her scent, and that helped, but it wasn't the same. Anyway, my weekend is pretty rigidly structured, and I have myself pretty much sleeping or out of the house all of the time, which should be all I need to keep my mind off of it, but I'm still counting down the minutes until Monday afternoon.

I need a hair cut.

Pharmacy school is harder than I thought. I got my test results from the exams I took last week and the week before. I got a B on one and a low A on the other, so I'm hardly at risk of failing out, but that's not what I wanted. My whole life I've never really needed to study. I mean, right now I'm blogging from a lecture, and I'll retain enough of it to pass the related questions on the exam. But I need to start reviewing a little bit more for these exams. Other assignments haven't been an issue at all; so far it's only been the tests. I wanted to make the Dean's List this semester, and to accomplish that goal I'm going to need to find ways to study both harder and smarter. Also, the material is getting more challenging as we go on, so the effort I put in for the B and the A- will quickly become only enough for a C+ or a B. I don't think I need to draw you a graph to show you where that will get me. (If I do, let me know, and I'll make up a presentation for my next entry.)

Short blog today, I guess. We made an offer on a house, and we're waiting to hear back about it. I'll post again when I find out. We find ourselves once again in a multiple offer situation (same thing happened two weeks ago and we didn't get it), so it's not a guarantee, but we have a better chance this time because we're not contingent on the sale of our house (I go to the closing this afternoon) and we offered a lot more than their asking price (last time we were already at the top of our budget).

That's it for now. Thanks for reading, and come back soon.

Thanks for reading,

Almost flat-lined for a second, didn't I?

Hello, faithful reader. We almost lost this blog... two weeks between posts? That's unacceptable. As it turns out, pharmacy school is time-consuming. To this point I haven't run into anything that's hard, but I've had to devote significant amounts of time to study and assignments. I'm still working 30 hours a week (although that goes down to 23 this week, and then we'll see), and I like to spend time with my wife and son, too. There are times when my wife works, and I have to spend time with Xander (I'm not complaining about that "obligation!"), and it's pretty hard to say no to some family time if we're all home. I end up with very little time to do the studying. You can see how I have even less time for the blogging. So now I am blogging from Science Foundations class.

This course covers all of general chemistry in like three weeks. It's pretty intense. I see why they make you take all those prerequisites, because if you were seeing this for the first time you would be in way over your head.

I didn't get the class president position. That may turn out to be a good thing (see above paragraphs about not enough time). I did, however, get the student ethics committee position. I told almost nobody that I was applying for this because it all happened at the same time as the student council madness, but this is actually the position I wanted more. The ethics committee is a student and faculty body that meets to decide issues of ethics violations within the school of pharmacy. Most of these end up being academic issues, such as cheating on a test. The ethics committee reviews all the facts of the case and then makes a recommendation to the Dean about what sort of disciplinary action should be taken. For those of you who didn't know me then, I did a similar thing in my last year of undergrad. It was called the judicial board (J-board) at CCU, and most of those cases were student life violations, but it was the same principle (and we dealt with a really hairy academic dishonesty issue that probably shouldn't have come to us at that point). I love doing this. I think one of the greatest ways to serve a student community is in pursuing justice and figuring out how best to apply the rules to a variety of situations. I guess I could have been a lawyer, but for the fact that lawyers represent their clients, not the truth.

We sold our house. That was exciting. We close next week, but the buyer has agreed to rent the house to us for an extra month. His mortgage is better than ours, so we save some money in this deal, and have until the end of October to get out. Now we're doing house-hunting, which takes up so much of my time. It's exhausting. Hopefully we'll find the perfect house today.

Football started yesterday. That was great. It was a good game, too. The reigning Super Bowl champions always get the first game of the year, and the NFL used to schedule them an easy opponent to sort of guarantee a win. The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl, they got to play the Raiders in the kickoff game. That game was over almost immediately. Now they give them a really good non-divisional opponent. It makes for much better football. Even though it was a 13-10 overtime game, the game was fun to watch. There were key turnovers, blocked field goals, drives that picked up steam only to abruptly end in a defensive stand. I loved it, and I'm glad football is back. Especially because Sunday night sees the regular-season debut of Mr. Jay Cutler in a Chicago Bears uniform. He looked like his usual self in the exhibition game in Denver, and I look for that to continue (although the Green Bay defense should be a little better) this week. I was especially encouraged by the way he handled himself under the surprisingly strong pass rush of the Broncos. I think all those guys just wanted to knock him out for skipping town in the offseason, but he remained composed under the pressure. That's a good sign. He also hit a bunch of different receivers, often in pretty tight coverage, and managed the game well. Plus, Matt Forte is a stud in that backfield. I'm excited.

Well, I'm starting to get rambly right now. I think I'll leave you here and save some of my other thoughts for another post. Hopefully it won't be two weeks from now. Thanks for reading, and come back soon.

The 'stache needs your vote

I decided to mix it up with the facial hair and went down from the full beard to this really sweet '70s cop mustache. I think it makes me look creepy, while at the same time demanding that I never be taken seriously.

Having established that as my general image, I have decided to run for president of my pharmacy class. I give a brief speech tomorrow. The speech aspect doesn't worry me; I don't have that phobia. What worries me is that there are about half a dozen candidates, and those who I know are well-qualified. If I don't win the election, I won't be upset by it, but I would like the opportunity to serve my class. I like that the position is defined as a liaison between the students and the faculty, and between the students and the student council. That means that the biggest requirement of the job is listening to my fellow students and bringing their input back to council meetings. I like the sound of that, and it's something I'd be pretty good at.

I also think I have the right background for the position. I'm 26, and the average age of the class is 26. I'm only five years removed from my undergrad work, and I went back for two more years of science classes that ended a year ago, so I can relate to anyone younger than me. On the other hand, I've been working for the past five years, am married, and have a kid, so I can also relate to most of the older students. I'm very approachable, and in conversation I prefer listening over speaking. I don't consider myself a leader, and yet I somehow always end up leading in whatever I do. In my senior year of college, I was the student advisory member to the faculty library committee, and in my junior year I was editor-in-chief of the school paper, so I've worked with both students and faculty. I have absolutely no agenda of my own; my entire goal in seeking this position is to bring the ideas and opinions of my class to the table. Plus, I have a sweet softball coach mustache. So, wish my luck tomorrow. The worst that can happen is that I won't get it and I'll have one fewer commitment in my life, which would really not be so bad.

In other news, my wife had a job interview that looks really promising, and we have a buyer who is "very interested" in our house. He may make an offer this weekend. If both of those came through for us, I might be able to stop working at the casino, and that would be just fine by me. Thanks for reading, and come back soon. And if you're a member of the CU SOP class of 2013, vote for me, too!

It's trans-tastic!

The other night after work I was downright starving, so I stopped at the 24-hour Burger King drive-thru to try the new double crispy cheesyburger, an item that makes up for its lack of taste with an abundance of the letter y. I wasn't too impressed with the burger, but for two bucks (I got two of them) you can't go too wrong. After I ate it, though, I started thinking about how bad for me that thing really is. I tried to find the nutrition facts online, but Burger King only has info on their permanent menu and I couldn't find it elsewhere. I'm not going to let that stop me, though.

I figure the two patties are comparable to a double hamburger with no toppings on it (since the only topping on the little hockey puck patties is cheesy sauce and "tiny, crispy onions") which comes in at a modest 400 calories/22g fat/9g sat. fat/1g trans fat/26g protein (good!). So we just need to figure out the sauce and the tiny, crispy onions. I figure if we take the values for the sauce and "angry onions" found on the Angry Whopper, we're going to have a pretty good estimate on those. So, we dress up a regular Whopper with all the other items an Angry Whopper has (pepperjack cheese, bacon, no ketchup or onions) and subtract. That's an additional 130 calories/7g fat/3g sat fat/0.5g trans fat/12g carb/5g sugar. You can figure the cheesy sauce is more oil-based than the angry sauce, so some of that sugar is probably more like fat, but I'll leave it for purposes of this calculation.

So that tiny double crispy cheesyburger has 29 grams of fat, 12 grams of saturated fat, and 1.5 grams of trans fat. And I ate two of them and was still hungry. A growing young man like myself could conceivably have four of those in one meal. I don't think anyone should consume nearly 120 grams of fat in a single meal, even if you're knocking out your caloric requirement for the entire day.

I guess what I'm trying to tell you is don't eat at Burger King. Or maybe just don't get the double crispy cheesyburger. It's not even that tasty. Fast food companies drive me crazy. The dollar you spend on that double crispy heart attack burger could buy you some fresh fruit or a sizable portion of nuts. Organic, even. King Soopers is open 24 hours, too. What I really don't like is that BK and Mackey's are getting so expensive it isn't even worth the health risk to save money any more. Combo meals cost as much as eight dollars if you get cheese on the sandwich. Take your eight bucks to Subway and get a fresh fit meal, or to Chipotle (if and only if sodium doesn't cause you a problem, although there's plenty of sodium in the BK, too). I mean, it'd be better still to make a fresh sandwich for yourself or a nice, fresh salad, but I understand if you're on the go. I don't want to go so far as to say that fast food should be illegal, but I think what we should do is stop buying it. Let's take control of the free market and push it away from this unhealthy crap. There's been some of this already, but now companies have figured out the magic $1 menu rule. People will buy a Tasty Double Garbage Burger if you charge them a buck for it. I want one right now.

Rabbit trail. Wow. Sometimes I get all worked up about things like this. I think I'll stop there. Thanks for reading, and come back soon - and don't try the double crispy cheesyburger.

Blogging from class

Hello, faithful reader. I come to you today from room 1102 in the Education 2 North building at the Anschutz Medical Campus. We (well, some of us) are presently listening to a presentation about the Colorado Board of Pharmacy and licensure requirements. This is important for us to know, yes, but that doesn't make it interesting. All week has been like that. Monday: Introduction to the library, learning styles, and a personality inventory. (Free breakfast and lunch, though!) Tuesday: professionalism, pharmacy care, finding your strengths, and teamwork (the "corporate retreat" day), as well as intro to campus services. Wednesday: curriculum-related, extracurriculars fair, and a really good nap (not really). Thursday: clickers, ethics, career pathways, and medical terminology. Friday (today): Half day! I think I'ma take a nap later. Probably not, but it'd be nice.

This week begins the semester-long, non-stop sleep deprivation experiment. That's not 100% true; I get to sleep in on Saturdays and can probably go to bed early on the days I don't work, but I don't have a day off from both work and school until Thanksgiving. I'll let you sit on that for a second. Thanksgiving is 97 days from today, and my last day off was last Thursday (the 13th). So that's 105 days without a break. And I work the day after Thanksgiving, so the break is one day. I feel a little like Superman. I hope I get a prize at the end (other than the Pharm.D.).

So Tuesday is the first class that counts. This week is a course, and I have to pass it to continue into the Pharm.D. program, but it's not really pharmacy-related. 8 a.m. on Tuesday is the first lecture of Pharmacy Law. That should be fun after working all night. If I had to pick one potential problem for this semester it's that combination of working 6-2 Monday night and going to Law Tuesday morning. So if you're awake late Monday night or early Tuesday morning, think of me. And give me a call maybe. I won't be sleeping.

The pharmacy career paths exercise was sort of interesting. It asks you 48 questions like "How important is vacation and time off?" on a scale of 1 to 10, then tells you which areas of pharmacy are the best fit for you. Mine came back pretty high for compounding and clinical pharmacy, which interest me. Compounding is preparation of custom doses, medications with short half-lives, and special dosing methods like lollipops and creams. Doesn't that sound fun? Clinical pharmacy is a specialty field where you generally deal with patients in a hospital and with a specific disease, type of disease, or patient population (such as pediatrics or geriatrics). If I had to pick today, I would specialize in psychiatric pharmaceuticals or in addictions.

I'm not giving up just yet, but it looks like the Cardinals are going to run away with the NL Central and the Giants and Rockies will be the only players in the Wild Card race. If true, it means no playoffs for my precious Cubs. That's OK; they'd have lost in the first round anyway. The Cubs need to work on developing for the future right now; I think this season pointed out how thin they are beyond their top talents. I haven't looked at the free agent crop, but they do have money to spend, so that's one way to get better in a hurry. Time now to focus my fan energy on those lovable Colorado Rockies. A four-game series with the Giants begins tonight, and the Rox find themselves just three and a half games back in their division. A good homestand could put them in place not only for the Wild Card but for the outright division win, something they've never done in their fifteen seasons spent as also-rans (and one as National League champions).

I'm like 98% certain that the logo I used for my picture here is not a copyright infringement. I don't want to step on anybody's intellectual property toes here, so if any of my pictures belong to you and you don't want me using them, just let me know. I'll take them down immediately.

That's all on my end. Thanks for reading, and come back soon.

It begins!

For the first time since I started this pharmacy school blog, I actually have some pharmacy school to blog about! Today was orientation. Technically it wasn't class, but it was a lot closer than I have been in the past year. I took Biochemistry last fall, and that's the only course I've taken in the past academic year. Getting back into school might be a little rough on me. Luckily, next week's classes are pretty soft material. It's things like how to use the library, the Kiersey personality test, and basic medical terminology. That ought to get me up to speed pretty well.

It was nice to put a bunch of faces to some names. I'd communicated with a number of my classmates through facebook and a Google group that I set up for our class, but before today I had only met five of them, and four of those interviewed with me. Today was the first time all 161 of us P1s-to-be were on campus at the same time. I think officially we're not P1s until the white coat ceremony next Monday, but I am a pharmacy student at the UC-Denver Anschutz Medical Campus (see picture for evidence).

Xander is walking all over the place now, and starting to talk. We've been teaching him baby sign language, and he's picked up a few signs, but last night he said his first meaningful, communicative word - "up." He's said some other things, like "cat," "da" (that either means "Dad" or "that" - I'm not sure yet), and something close to "dog," but "up" is definitely the best communication he's exhibited so far. He really means that he wants up when he says it, which is great. He's also a lot more mobile than ever. The other day he was chasing the cat around the house with a fly swatter and giggling. The cat hates him, I think, but he loves to go after it.

Someone pointed out after my last point that spiders are meat. I knew this, actually. My complaint was that he won't eat the clean, safe, cooked meat that we give him, although this isn't as true any more. I guess the live spider experience broadened his horizons. He's now interested in some meats, particularly at breakfast. We took him to Denny's last week and he dug in to some bacon like it was the best thing he'd ever tasted. I have to admit bacon is pretty good.

What encouraged me about the spider comment on my last post was that I actually have at least one reader! So, faithful reader, thank you. I hope you keep coming back.

The Final Countdown

This might have just been an excuse to put that sweet picture in a blog post. But we are in the last week before classes begin. Friday is orientation! Technically, the first class class will be next Monday, but I'm sticking to my original August 14 date. After all, if I fail to appear on campus and get my ID that day, I will lose my spot and and it will be filled by someone from the wait list. I thought that was a rather harsh policy. And honestly, how many people are sitting around waiting for that call? "Yes, this is the CU School of Pharmacy. Can you be in Denver in three days? I know you've been waiting for four months for this call and made a bunch of other plans for next year, but if you happen to have $18,000 lying around to pay for your tuition, you can totally start right away!" I'm guessing they have that policy just because it's the only way to guarantee that students show up to get their IDs that day.

My son won't eat meat. This doesn't really bother me other than the fact that he wants to eat everything else he finds. Dog hair? Yep. Batteries? Sure. Live spiders? You betcha. I'm extremely grateful that I was asleep for this one. My wife got to witness him pick up a sizable spider by one spindly leg, look at it, and try to put it in his mouth. Of course this would scare the crap out of anything, so the spider took off down his arm, causing Xander to laugh, probably because it tickled. Just thinking about it gives me the heebidy jeebidies.

I got CPR certified Wednesday morning. I was a little intimidated about going to a CPR course for health care providers, but it turned out not to be so bad. It was also very asocial, with almost no student-student interaction. I'm glad to get that out of the way. Plus, if you collapse in front of me, I have a vague idea of what to do about it. It would really help if you were a limbless torso that clicked whenever I compressed your chest with enough pressure to pump your heart.

We have our first showing of our house tomorrow. It was pretty exciting to get that call. We actually got a call Thursday evening, but my wife and I were both going out with my brother watching Xander for us, and the house was a mess, too. I didn't want him to have to get out of the way of a showing, and I didn't think it was in very good condition to show, either. We did a total cleaning/painting/organizing blitz and now we're all set. Hopefully the potential buyers will fall in love, but I'm realistic. It's going to take a good deal of time to sell this house, if it sells at all, and that's fine.

The official countdown to school is five days, including today. Also, I have homework! I guess I'd better get working on that. Well, I still have five days. That's a ton of time, right?

Blogging just to blog

Yeah, I think that's what I'm doing right now. I can't say I have much to report, but I feel the old bloggin' itch, so here goes.

My son is great. My wife took him out shopping with her yesterday and ran into an old friend. She said, "Hey, buddy!" and Xander (my son) reached right out to her to be picked up! Then her husband walked into the store and said, "Hey, buddy!" and Xander reached out for him! Later, he walk/crawled over to a complete stranger and pulled himself up on her legs. I think that's great. At some point we'll have to teach him about "stranger danger" but I love not having one of those babies that cry whenever someone besides mommy or daddy is holding them. He's a doll in the church nursery, too. All the workers half expect kids of that age to lose it when their parents walk out of their room, but Xander just wants to get down to business and start playing with all the cool toys.

Of all the things I'm going to hate about the rigors of a professional school program for the next four years, not seeing him enough is my biggest worry. I'm comfortable taking out enormous loans in order to get through, and I don't mind getting a good night's sleep less than once a month. I can handle all the pressure of rote memorization and mindless regurgitation. None of that scares me, or at least not as much as it would most people. What I'm worried about is missing four incredible years of my son's life. I already feel like he's a different kid by the time I get done with my four-day work week. How much am I going to miss over the course of four months of school?

Xander is putting himself to sleep this week. You don't know how incredible that is. Feed him a bottle, change his diaper, set him in his crib, pull up the blanket, and seeya later! I hope that lasts, though I'm sure it won't.

Orientation for school is 11 days away. Now I feel like it's too soon. I guess I can't make up my mind about what I want.

Here we go, Cubbies!

Well, it took long enough, but that Cubs rally beard finally worked! I don't think that was it; it was probably the return of Aramis Ramirez and a mental adjustment at the All-Star break, but they are now a half game ahead in the NL Central. That's what I'm talking about. And in the meantime, the Rockies went ahead and took the Wild Card lead! Even after today's loss (and Giants win), they're a game up. That's sweet.

So there's this deal in Colorado - when the Rockies score seven or more runs in a game, Taco Bell will give you four tacos for a dollar. Last year there was no other condition; this year you have to buy a drink. It's still a good deal, but I think it's probably a major factor in my high triglycerides. I think I've missed it six times that they've qualified, and for three of those I was in Hawai'i.

We have two more weekends before school starts. I'm freaking out. We also put our house on the market today. I'm not thinking it'll sell, but if it does we have the chance to chop about 50 grand off our mortgage by moving into a cheaper house. That would certainly ease some of the financial strain of going to school full-time.

Just a quick one today; go Cubs!

20 days isn't a very long time

The first day of class is 20 days from today. That's three weeks from yesterday. I have this weekend and two more, and then I'm officially a pharmacy student. Now all the prep stuff is swinging into high gear. I need to send back my financial aid letter so I can get some loans, and order some books, and go to a CPR class in a few weeks. I also need to buy a printer and Microsoft Office, but I guess those could wait for the first week of classes.

The big news in my life is that my car got totally boned by the hail storm we had on Monday. All of the severe weather missed my house (thankfully) and my workplace, so how did my car get so badly trashed? Well, I decided to car pool to work that day, and I didn't drive. We parked at 44th and Ward, which Denver residents will know was the area hit the hardest. When I got back to my car, my rear windshield was all over the inside of the car. Both rearview mirrors were shattered and both tail lamp assemblies were damagaed. And any panel of the car that faced up or toward the rear was thoroughly dented. The body shop said it could take a month - or longer - to get it fixed. Apparently they have to replace the roof panels, and apparently that's a touchy part to deal with. So I have a 2009 Dodge Charger for the next month. That thing can really haul.

Driving into the aftermath of that storm was cool. It had stopped hailing and the wind had died away, but there was a thick, soupy fog remaining (probably from all of that hail evaporating). It was like a scene from a movie. We drove into what looked like a solid wall of condensation right before we got to my car. Also, all of the trees in the area were completely bare of leaves. There was a pine tree in the parking lot that looked like the Charlie Brown Christmas tree. I'm pretty sure it was healthy and robust when I left that afternoon. So after we surveyed the extensive damage to my car and I drove off (with no mirrors and no rear glass), I drove right back out of the fog. For about two minutes I had no idea whether there were any cars behind me because there was almost zero visibility, and then it abruptly cleared. It was eerie.

I'll probably be posting again this week as the school prep takes off.

The slowest day in sports

Today is the slowest sports day of the year. There are no games in baseball, and the other three major sports are in their off-seasons. The NBA and NHL drafts have already taken place; NFL camps don't start for a few more weeks. Golf brings us the British Open, but that won't start until the wee hours of tomorrow morning. Even Major League Soccer is dark today. If you're desperate for action, the WNBA brings us five games and the NBA summer league has six. When I used to work on Wednesdays, this day was just torturous. Wednesdays are slow days in the casino, too, and having literally nothing to watch while sitting around is just... yuk.

My wife suggested I tell some antidotes in my blog. So, for carbon monoxide poisoning, fresh air and oxygen is best. Amyl nitrate, sodium nitrate, and thiosulfate are indicated for cyanide poisoning. I think she meant I should share some anecdotes, but if you want more info click here or read the Wikipedia entry on antidotes.

How can you make an error in the MLB All-Star game? How can you do it if you're Albert Pujols, playing at home in the middle of an incredible, Hall-of-Fame caliber season? How can you do all that and go 0-3 at the plate? I guess he's trying to prove he really isn't a machine. Josh Hamilton had a throwing error, too, but he didn't belong on the All-Star team to begin with. It's disappointing to me that in the game that's supposed to showcase the best talent in the big leagues we end up with two errors. Seems to me the best of the best ought to hold it together for a couple of innings. Dan Uggla had two in one inning last year. In fact, the last All-Star game without an error was in 2002, and that game ended in a tie. Maybe this is the reason baseball isn't taken seriously by many people any more.

I start school in 30 days. Now I'm sort of in freak-out mode. I went almost instantly from tired of waiting to needing more time. What happened?

YOUR HEAD A SPLODE

I really meant to post an update somewhere along the way in the past month. Sorry. I've been way too busy to do the little things like sleeping and blogging, which is really too bad, given that stuff has actually happened now.

First things first: July 2, 2009 was the first day of 24-hour gaming and $100 bet limits in Colorado casinos. I was off that day. July 3 was a madhouse. I'm not scheduled to work later than 2 on any day, which is pretty much the same schedule I had when we closed at 2. The difference is that with 24-hour operation I have the chance to be kept late if we're busy, and we definitely were. I should have seen that coming, what with it being the start of all this new gambling and a holiday weekend... I left at 5:00 Friday (the 3rd; scheduled until 2), 4:30 Saturday (scheduled to 1), 2:45 Sunday (instead of 1), and 4:30 Monday (instead of 2). Last Friday I left at 4:30, and last night I set a new personal best by working 5 p.m. to 5:15 a.m. On the one hand, I'm making much, much more money than I ever have. On the other hand, I'm squeezing 40+ hours into four days of work when I'm scheduled for 31 and I'm seeing the sunrise more often that not. It's just a good thing I took a part-time schedule, because those full-time dealers are getting really hosed.

Anyway, on last Saturday the big packet from the school finally arrived. A lot of it was advertisements and order forms for various books, lab coats, study guides, and the like that we can buy from different student organizations at the school, but it also included all of the instructions for the week-and-a-half of orientation that starts in just 33 days. It looks like that week will be a nice, gentle easing into school, which is nice since I've taken just 4 credits in the last academic year. The same day my financial aid award letter arrived, too. It looks like I'm going to have enough to pay the mortgage, which is fine. Between Jaime and my own hours at the casino and/or my intern job, we should be able to put food on the table and keep the lights on. I hope. I'm a lot more relaxed about it than I have been because 1) I'm making a killing right now, 2) Jaime finished her internship and can start looking for a job, and 3) We hacked the crap out of the budget and got it a lot more manageable. I don't know that taking on new debt to pay existing debt is a great idea, but sometimes you gotta do some weird stuff to get by.

Xander turned one a week ago. He's so BIG! We had a really nice party for him at the house, and then I put on my uniform and worked a 10-hour shift. I can do this for a while, so I guess I'm not complaining, and if I can put away a few bucks this month I won't have to work so much over the next four, so... yeah, it's worth it.

I should be able to post a little more often over the next few weeks as school gets closer. Thanks for reading!

2 months to go!

My cat's been hunting. A couple days before we left for Hawai'i, he left this on the floor by the front door (inside). I don't know what he thought we wanted to do with it, but apparently it was only fun while it was still alive. Then the next day I found another one in the driveway, with the same squish out the back but otherwise pretty much intact. Gross, huh?

Hawai'i was exactly what I needed. I feel so refreshed. It also knocked almost two weeks off my countdown. We're two months to the day from our first day of class. Tomorrow will be 60 days. Friday will be eight weeks.

How about those Rockies? If me going out of town is all they need to start playing better, I'll leave more often. Today's win gives them 11 in a row, which is enough to close the gap in their division to a measly ten and a half games. They probably shouldn't have lost so many earlier. My precious Cubs are a different story altogether... I started growing a "rally beard" - basically not shaving until the Cubs are back in first place - and they promptly started losing. The Rox helped them out, too, sweeping the Cardinals and the Brewers. I'm starting to think I'll never shave again. If I have two months' growth at orientation, I'm going to be known as the guy with the crazy beard. So, let's go Cubbies!

Apparently the first people to submit their aid paperwork are now getting their award packages. I'm looking for mine in the mail every day now. It'll relieve some stress once I know what our financial situation will be for next year, and by extension, how much I have to work. I'm pulling for none, but if you've read my earlier posts, you know that's just not possible. Well, maybe I can win some sort of large cash prize between now and August 14th.

Sunday will be my first Father's Day as a father. I'm excited for that. I love being a dad, and I'm especially looking forward to future Father's Days and getting cards made by Xander (and hopefully by his future brothers and sisters, too) in that sloppy kid handwriting. I know that's not too far away. I just hope pharmacy school doesn't make me so busy that I miss all of that stuff. I would hate to have a four-year block of Xander's childhood missing from my memory, and even worse, to have four years of his childhood missing a dad in his life. I keep telling myself that won't happen unless I let it, but it still frightens me. I guess just being scared by that is enough to prove it won't happen. At the very least, I'm glad I'm doing this now and not when he's a few years older. If I disappear from his life for the next four years he'll barely remember it by the time he's 10.

Tomorrow I get an EMG on my legs. I don't even know what an EMG is, really. At my physical in April, I mentioned to the doc that I've been feeling a sort of uncomfortable pressure in my legs, especially after sitting for a few hours in a row, but lasting long after I stand up. I was worried it might be a blood clot. First thing they tried was an venous ultrasound; that didn't show anything. Oddly enough, the feeling went away for about a month after the ultrasound. It's been back the last couple of days, coinciding with my return to work from vacation. My self diagnosis is that it's a chiropractic issue, and that pressure on the nerves in my spine is creating a phantom sensation. If the EMG doesn't show anything, I'm going to get an adjustment and see what happens.

This has been a really long entry! Congrats if you've made it this far. I'd better stop here for now. I'll be back for a 50 day update, if not sooner.

80 day update

If you like my blog, there may be something wrong with you. Seriously, though, if you do, check out this one. This guy is doing the same blog I am, only he's one year behind me. CU is even his first choice school! At this point in the application process, his blog is a lot more interesting than mine.

It looked for a second like I was going to have a sweet set-up. The Target pharmacy by my house was all set to give me some intern hours this summer, and then I found out that you can't get the intern license until you start school. So that's going to have to wait. Bummer.

All of my transcripts have been received. All of my financial aid forms are in, too. They're processing students starting in the summer right now, but I should get my award package in June. That's also when they send out the fall schedule, orientation schedule, list of books, etc., etc. I may wait to post again until something from the school arrives.

Saturday we leave for Hawaii. That's going to be a great time. I'm thinking about buying a laptop before we leave so we can watch movies on the loooooong plane ride (five hours in the air from LAX to OGG). I actually already bought a computer once this summer, from Dell, but it got back-ordered twice. On the second time, I cancelled the order because it wasn't going to get here before vacation. I figure I can either buy one from the store or I can order a better one for less in a month or two.

Technically, it's already Wednesday, which means we have only 79 days to go, but I haven't slept so I count that as 80. You know, 80 nights of sleep to go. I'm in Hawaii on day 70, and there's no way I'm blogging from the beach, so don't expect much out of me for a while.

Happy birthday to Jaime!

Today (Wednesday) is my wife's birthday. I can't tell you what I got her because she might be secretly reading my blog. But tomorrow we get to spend most of the day together, which is rare these days with all our various commitments.

I called the financial aid office a few days ago. They got all my forms and I should get a decision back from them in the middle of June. I also bought a laptop; that should come by the end of the week. I'm excited 'bout that part.

Sigh. This summer is boring. I kind of want to go to sleep and wake up August 13th (I want a day to get ready for school). Well, I guess we're going to Hawai'i in a week, so that'll be great.

I got my new schedule (at work) today. It doesn't start until July, but it's exactly what I wanted: Friday-Monday nights, and the Friday night starts late (7 p.m.). I can make plenty of money on this one, but still have time for school. If I can lose the Monday, it's even better. That'll definitely work for as long as I need it to, even during school (I think).

OK, I need to get some sleep. This is the worst blog entry ever. Sorry!

3 months and counting

Well, the Nuggets did like I wanted and took care of business. It was cool to see graphic basketball ads next to my blog instead of the usual pharmacy tech school text ads. Hopefully the boys in powder blue can go take it to the Lakers. I think at this point they're over any psychological hang-up about historical trends or not being able to win in LA or any of that business. I hope.

Orientation starts three months from today. This means I'm going to post two countdown entries in three days, since Saturday will be 90 days. I hope you like the countdown!

There's still been little change in my enrollment progress. More of the waiting game. I did start memorizing the top 200 drugs to help fend off the boredom. I have 25 down, 175 to go.

A little off-topic

I had the itch to blog, but there's been no change in my pharmacy school adventure, so I'm going to talk about the latest bandwagon hometown heroes in Denver - the Nuggets.

I've been rooting hard for this team since they acquired Chauncey Billups. I love the Nuggets, and basketball might be my favorite sport to watch. Sadly, Denver is a one-sport team. Two years ago, the Rockies went to the World Series, and by the time they made it that far, the bandwagon was enormous. What people never talk about is that the Rockies were near the top of their division all year, won 92 games, and finished the regular season winning 13 of 14 games. It wasn't until about number 10 of those wins that anyone even noticed. But by the time Rocktober rolled around, everyone was a "hard core Rockies fan." Then when the Red Sox scored 6 runs in the third inning of game 3, suddenly it was all over and they were the same old Rockies that had let us down for so many years. Even though that wasn't true. I mean, it was the freakin' World Series! What Rockies team in the past even sniffed something that awesome?

I'm off the already off-topic topic. My point is that our fans are so fair-weather for any sport but football. Even in the midst of losing Jay Cutler, a lot of Broncos fans honestly believe that (1) they're better off without him and (2) the Broncos have any kind of a chance to make the playoffs this year. Ridiculous. Meanwhile, the Nuggets are in the midst of their best season in team history - ABA included - and only now can we start talking about them. On the day the Nuggets clinched the Northwest Division, the Rockies had won something like three games in a row. But the only topic of conversation on sports talk radio was Jay Cutler. This was some 10 days after he was traded to the Bears. Even after the Nuggies took it to the Hornets in round 1, no one seemed to notice. The record-tying 58-point road win in New Orleans wasn't even nationally televised. It drives me crazy that now, all of a sudden, the Nuggets are worthy of discussion. People, they've been this good all year. Why do they have to come within 2 points of sweeping the Mavericks for anyone to notice? Where were you people all year long?

Well, I'm glad I got that off my chest. Now let's go watch them destroy Dallas in game 5.

My adventure in Aurora

I love my new campus.

On Wednesday, I met my wife for lunch and then an old friend for coffee, both in Aurora. We live on the opposite side of Denver, about thirty miles from the CU medical campus, which is close enough not to need to move but far enough that I don't know the area at all. Several of my future classmates have asked where the good places to live are, and I really can't tell them anything. The general buzz is that the area immediately around the campus is not the safest, but that as you move south the neighborhoods get better. So I thought I would travel back home by driving up Peoria, which forms the western boundary of the campus.

I started at Peoria and Parker Road, which is absolutely gorgeous. Heading north on Peoria, the houses are well-maintained, the fences are wooden, the cars parked on the street are newer models, and everything is pretty green. All the way up to Mississippi, things look pretty good. From Mississippi to Alameda, the houses are older and some of the lawns are overgrown. The cars aren't as nice, and some of the fences are crappy chain-links, but it had the feeling of an older neighborhood. I did see kids walking around, which is a good sign, and my thought is that it was still safe enough to live in, just on the bottom end of middle class instead of the top.

At 6th Avenue is beautiful Del Mar Park. It's huge, with a new playground and lots of people recreating. That seems to be the boundary between nice and sketchy. After that park - immediately - the older but still nice houses were replaced with abandoned businesses, empty lots, dilapidated housing, and a general vibe of unease for me. It doesn't get any better until Colfax....

....where the beautiful brick and glass edifice of University Hospital suddenly appears, set against the matching backdrop of all those medical campus building. The other three corners are still run down, and the businesses on the west side of Peoria still make me nervous, but the campus is just perfect. I fell in love with it the first time I saw it, and I still love it. There's also a slowly growing wave of gentrification surrounding the campus. To the north is the apartment complex 21 Fitzsimmons, which is new and literally across the street from the new pharmacy building. If you're looking for a place to live while you go to school, you can't go wrong there (it is expensive, though). I think in about five years all the areas immediately around the campus will be pretty nice.

Anyway, I love the campus, and I can't wait to make it my home away from home over the next three years.

Happy Mother's Day, too! Call your moms.

100 days

With just 100 days to go, I find myself itching to get started. Most of my preparation is complete; now I'm just waiting on other people (like the financial aid office). My big concern these days is financial.

I work as a full-time poker dealer in Black Hawk, a small mining town 45 minutes west of Denver that in 1991 brought in legalized gambling in order to preserve the historic aspects of a town that was pretty much falling apart. Because my wife worked part-time this year, and because we are homeowners with a baby, I need to work full-time through the summer and then continuously through the school year. My hope is that at some point I'll be able to quit the casino job and start doing a pharmacy internship, but I can't wait for that to fall in my lap, so for the time being I need to find a part-time schedule that works with my classes.

In November, the voters of Colorado approved an increase in our gaming limits, along with 24-hour operation and the addition of craps and roulette. These changes take effect July 2, which means new schedules for everyone. They released the list of schedules this week, so I'm spending most of my time figuring out which schedules will work for me. The problem is that I want to work full-time for six weeks and then drop down to 25 hours in the middle of August. Officially, this can't be done, but I'm working on some clever ways around the rules.

But really I just wish the next 100 days would be over, so I could stop worrying about and planning the future and start living it! Well, we'll see how it all works out. It depends on some other things, too, like how much financial aid I can get and what kind of job my wife ends up with. I guess 100 days is not that long. As someone on facebook pointed out, it's only 0.273 years!

Just some thoughts

I feel like blogging a little but I don't have a whole lot to share. I sent in my financial aid forms last week. I also started a Google group for the class of 2013. Members of the class should join the group if you haven't already.

Swine flu is driving me crazy. I'm sorry, it's H1N1 flu now. Like it should have been all along. I'm pretty sure we're dealing with just one fatality still in the US (ordinary flu kills 36,000 annually) but people in "infected" areas are wearing surgical masks and trying to stockpile Tamiflu and generally freaking out. Yes, it's serious, and yes, it could become a global pandemic, but it's not the apocalypse! We have drugs to treat it, and we know the prevention steps that we should have already been doing. I guess it's a good reminder to stay clean and sanitary. Seasonal flu remains the bigger threat, though! Grrrrrrr....

I'm going to look like a moron when H1N1 kills millions. I really hope that doesn't happen.

I guess I'm going to bed now. Oh, one other thing! If you're reading this on facebook, it's because I imported my blog. The blog address is http://buffalopharmer.blogspot.com.

105 days and counting...

110 days

Not a lot going on in the past couple of days. I sent in my financial aid paperwork. That's a frightening prospect. We're going to borrow a lot of money over the next four years. I'm looking for ways to lessen the amount we're going to need, but I think it's going to just be a lot of loans.

Today marks 110 days to go before the first day of class. I really can't wait. I've got a bit of senioritis at work right now, though. I'm not too keen about that. It's turning me from a superstar into a pretty lousy employee. I just can't focus any more. It no longer interests me. But I need to work hard, and make as much as I can over the next 110 days! Grrrr...

Poked and prodded

On Monday afternoon I allowed a very nice, competent, and tiny medical assistant to stab me in both arms, inject something into my forearm, prick my index finger, and suck blood out of my elbow. I took all of this lying down. Literally.

I'm a bit of a fainter.

Why all the torture, you ask? Apparently, working in the medical profession requires quite a few immunizations. Luckily, I got the complete MMR series as a child and I've had the chicken pox so that's two I don't need to get. But the right arm was a tetanus booster (DTaP, actually), the left arm was Hepatits B (I need two more of those - grrr). The injection in my forearm is a TB test. I really hope I pass that one! The finger prick and the blood draw aren't related to pharmacy school; that was just for blood work as part of my physical. We'll come back to that.

This felt like a big step to me. A week before I mailed off my deposit and various acceptance- and residency-related forms, but certainly all these needles mark the most painful part of the pre-pharmacy process for me. That tetanus injection site is still sore. It's completely sunk in for me now - I am going to pharmacy school in less than three months. In fact, I have a lot of work left to do to get all those ducks in a row.

Anyway, welcome to my new blog. I'm going to try to keep posting throughout the school year for all four years of the process. Maybe that can offer a bit of a unique perspective for incoming pharmacy students in the future. And maybe I'll continue it after graduation. We'll see. Whatever the case, I hope you enjoy listening to me. It's not always going to be about pharmacy school, but I'll try to keep that as the major thread that sort of drives the blog.

Oh, and the blood work came back with some disturbing results. I have really high cholesterol. So high they want to put me on a statin drug. I'm only 26. I sort of guessed this would happen, because my dad suffered a mild heart attack earlier in the year and has dealt with high cholesterol for the past decade, but it still sucks. I'm 6 feet tall (with shoes on - apparently I'm only 5'11", officially) and weight only 165 pounds (naked out of the shower - apparently I'm 170 in the doctor's office). You wouldn't look at me and think anything was wrong. In fact, my medical history is spotless. No surgeries, no chronic conditions, no medications, no allergies... well, now I have a history of high cholesterol and will be taking Lipitor or something like that. My hope is that a few months on the drugs with some drastic diet changes and an increase in exercise will bring those numbers into check and I'll be able to drop the drugs. I don't really want to start taking pills for the rest of my life starting this early in the game.