It's probably pertussis

Yesterday I mentioned Felix was sick. Today at the doctor's office they told us it's probably pertussis and RSV. The RSV part doesn't worry me too much; that's a common infection. I'm sure Xander had it at some point. Pertussis is a serious deal. At this point, we have an appointment every day for the rest of the week so they can monitor him, and they told us if he starts wheezing or has trouble breathing we need to go to the hospital. Honestly, I'm terrified of that.

There may be no greater feeling of helplessness than having a seriously ill child. Granted, we aren't talking about serious illness in the same sense as my friends whose baby was born with seizures, or the unluckiest percentage of the population who have to take a child for chemotherapy, but this is not just a common cold. At this point, we have to be prepared to hospitalize him to receive oxygen treatments. That's not something I want to think about, let alone do. A baby on oxygen is heartbreaking image. The thought of seeing my baby on oxygen is a nightmare.

Right now, Felix is still at home. I'm skipping class tomorrow to be with Xander while Jaime takes him to his daily appointment. Hopefully, his body fights off the infection and he recovers without complication, but there are a lot of scenarios that don't turn out that well. I'm scared.